#i feel myself becoming more coherent....
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gallifreyanhotfive · 1 month ago
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Binging the Trial of a Time Lord while sick. Maybe this will heal me.
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gravesung-moving · 2 months ago
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feeling a little bit weird and lonely tonight @_@ catch me on disco if u need me! ✌🏼
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cashmere-caveman · 2 years ago
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rewatching being human in my twenties and after getting my brain thorougly scrambled by various things both in my personal life and the media ive discovered in the years in between is so funny bc back when i was an angsty fourteen year old i was like "oh my god they were in love and all was well but then it Turned Bad OHMYGOD i love tragedy"
and now i am older than both annie and mitchell were at their points of death and i am steadily approaching george's age and now i do stuff like look for motifs and patterns etc instead of just going "oh wow all of these ppl are so hot i am definitely bisexual" (even tho i still do that. do not be deceived.) bc i am now Older Smarter and Wiser (joke) and i just fucking love picking things apart at the seams to see the scaffolding holding up the theatre stage and make myself violently ill about it but at the bottom of it all behind all the ways in which i am telling myself that i am so much more chill about everything this time around it is actually Worse and i just think that is so funny
me and my teenage self are just holding hands juming up and down in the living room and screaming "can you fucking believe it oh my god they were in love and all was well but then!!! it Turned Bad!!!! OHMYGOD i love tragedy :D" and honestly i fucking love that! i love revisiting old fandoms and realizing not only is the love i had for this story still here but since i last visited it has festered and grown and now i actually have so many more ways to express it like!!!!! babes!!!!! isnt it FUN!!!!
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moneygoblin04 · 4 months ago
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Feeling B A D
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kisseobie · 7 months ago
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piwon’s reaction to reader squirting? 🫠
p1harmony reacting to making you squirt
pairings: ot6 p1harmony x reader
warnings: nsfw (mdni)
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tags: unprotected sex (don’t do this lolz), cunnilingus (fem. receiving), crying, squirting (duh), rough sex, degradation, spanking, fingering, masturbation, mentions of piss, corruption, i think that’s the bulk of it?
a/n: apparently user kisseobie is the biggest whore on the planet bc i started writing this the minute i saw the notification in my inbox.. i couldn’t help myself from doing full fledged reactions sorry …. also i believe in pussy slapping keeho supremacy .. also don’t ask why i wrote so much i wasn’t planning on it….
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❤︎ keeho
the two of you are sat on the soft carpet of keeho’s bedroom, your bare back pressed up against his clothed chest. your boyfriend has one hand tightly holding your face in place, forcing you to stare at the mirror in front of you and watch as his other hand descends between your thighs. his rough fingers gather your slick and you mewl in response, to which he gently pushes his fingers into your cunt. he may be an attentive lover, but he’s not the most patient, and his rigorous pace of fucking his digits into you is almost immediate, causing you to whine and thrash against him. “mm kyo, ‘s too much!” is the only coherent sentence you can get out of yourself as keeho ignores your pleas to slow down, only quickening the pace of his fingers moving in and out of your pussy. your eyes screw shut as your boyfriend’s hot breath hits your right ear, and with his mouth so close to your face, you can properly hear his quiet grunts and curses, the only indication that he’s not nearly as composed as he’s attempting to seem. when he notices that your eyes aren’t on your reflection anymore, he gives your clit a firm spank that makes you scream and jolt in surprise. “fuckkkkkk, no more p-please i can’t take it!!” you squeal, eyes shutting once again, partly because keeho’s assault on your pussy is salivating, and partly because your humiliated, humiliated that he’s capable of forcing you into submission so quickly, and how you sit in front of him fully naked while your boyfriend watches you, fully clothed and composed.
you can’t stop shaking and sobbing against him. he eventually lets you lay your head back on his shoulder as the pleasure becomes overwhelming, but his fingers never still. “look at you,” he coos, “haven’t even stuffed you with my dick yet and you’re drooling all over yourself. you’re so fucking nasty y/n” he taunts, only egging himself on with every insult. if you ignore his command to look at yourself, he once again grabs your chin and forces you to, laughing under his breath at your tears and dumbed out expression as you try your best to listen to your boyfriend’s next words. “need you to come for me, can you do that angel? you gonna cum around my fingers? gonna make a mess all over me?” he sweetly asks you, a heavy contrast to the pad of thumb currently drawing circles into your puffy clit. you can only nod in reply, feeling a more intense orgasm bubbling in your tummy and before you can warn him, keeho lands another slap against your mound that pushes you over the edge. you’re floating, vision white and toes curled as you writhe against kyo’s fingers. minutes pass by and you finally come back to your senses, feeling keeho laying pecks all across your bare shoulders as you slump into him, and that’s when you notice that there are spritz and drops of what seems to be liquid on keeho’s mirror, pooled on the carpet below you, and scattered across the smooth skin of your thighs. you can hear keeho’s heavy pants, and when you turn to apologize for the mess you’ve made, your words get stuck in your threat as you realize that your boyfriend didn’t mind one bit, quite the opposite actually. he’s on top of you in seconds, laying your back against the now damp carpet as he stares at you with a wild, lust-driven look on his face.
“think i can make you squirt around my cock next, pretty?”
“wait kyo! won’t fit, it won’t fit!” is your reply, but do you really think he gives a care in the world? he’ll make it fit, and he’ll draw those waves out from you until you’re both spent and soaked in your sweet juices <3
❤︎ theo
“wait so you’ve never..?”
“nope. i don’t think every girl can”
it started with an unserious conversation about your personal sexual experiences, a topic your new boyfriend was very curious about. for the most part, the atmosphere was lighthearted as you and theo took turns interrogating eachother, but a specific question asked by your boyfriend leads to you admitting that a guy has never made you squirt, much less orgasm before, to which theo shakes his head in denial. he’s hesitant to believe you, half anticipating you to laugh it off and tell him you were just joking. however, when you meet his quizzical look with a blank stare, his mind starts to drift to more dangerous depths. always competitive in nature, taeyang takes your underwhelming sexual past as a challenge, and his demeanor shifts to one consumed by lust within seconds. he suddenly wants to show you everything, wants you to feel better than you’ve ever felt before, wants to mark you as his and become the only boy you could ever desire.
an hour later, he has you bouncing on and creaming his cock, giving you your third orgasm of the night. shows you all he has to offer, from his skillful fingers and tongue, to his massive dick that fills you up so well, so well that a bulge appears in your tummy. he’s addicted to your taste, your moans, your begs, and fucks you so good that it’s almost unbelievable that this is your first time together. slaps your ass and gropes your tits like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. not only is taeyang ridiculously good at sex, he’s also got the dirtiest mouth on him. can’t stop the expletives and praises dripping off his tongue like honey, telling you things like “so tiny, you sure this isn’t your first time sweetheart? if my fingers can’t fit, how are you gonna take my cock, hm?”. is borderline snarling everytime you gasp at a new sensation, and he knows right away that he’s got you hooked. your willingness to take whatever he gives you unlocks a corruption kink in him that he didn’t know was there. obsessed with the way that everytime he pulls out, your hips move on their own to chase the feeling of him filling you up again. you have such cute reactions to everything he’s giving to you, but his favorite by far is your begs for him to fuck you deeper, harder, fill you up with his seed. theo is so shameless, he doesn’t even care that your neighbors can probably feel your headboard hitting the wall with every thrust, wants them to know that the innocent pretty girl next door is getting defiled.
currently, he has you with your face down and ass up, posing all pretty for him and showing off your little hole, still dripping with his cum as he lines up his length with your pussy lips and pushes in. you love how degrading this position in, how you’re completely at his mercy like this, dizzy with want as you drool at the thought of coming around his dick again. theo lands another firm smack against your ass cheek, and your legs buckle up from the pain and pleasure. you’re twitching against him, getting addicted to the way your body is being tossed around like a ragdoll, as if you were made to be taeyang’s personal cocksleeve. he pounds into you like it’s nothing, and it sends blood rushing to your core. you silently thank the heavens for blessing you with a boyfriend like theo when you feel another climax approaching, all whilst theo continues to assault your cunt and use you like a cum dump. just when you believe theo couldn’t make you feel any better, his hand slips in between your legs to draw circles into your clit, and you feel the knot in your tummy tear in one firm snap that has you shaking, gripping onto anything within your reach to try to ground yourself as he works you through your nth orgasm of the night. your arousal leaks out of you, dripping and splashing onto theo’s pelvis and your sheets, and it just doesn’t stop spilling. you can hear your boyfriend groaning in satisfaction, filling you up once again and pounding irregularly as you both ride your highs together. after a few moments, taeyang’s thrusts slow to lazy grinds until you push your hips away, pleading him for “noooo, no more yangie.. too sensitive..” as he just watches you escape his grip in amusement. your boyfriend gives you a few minutes to catch your breath, massaging little shapes into your skin to ease any pain he may have caused earlier. when you’ve finally descended back to planet earth, you turn to look at theo with a face of disbelief, and he grins and leans in to kiss you, pulling off your lips just as quick to stare at you, still smiling mischievously. then he’s sitting up on your bed again, fingers moving dangerously close to your wetness as you widen your eyes at his next words.
“what was that you said earlier, my baby doesn’t think she can squirt? but look at you now.. so messy, want me to clean you up? hm? think you can take it?”
❤︎ jiung
“shhh pretty, gotta stay quiet ok? don’t wanna get us in trouble, do you?” jiung taunts as he lazily strokes himself to the view of you playing with your cute pussy. you’ve never felt so vulnerable before, burning up at the intensity of his gaze as you muster up enough courage to spread your legs wider in order to please him. when jiung asked you to show him how you touch yourself when he’s on tour earlier, you didn’t expect to be so shy, but another part of you feels empowered at how the sight of you playing with yourself is making him lose all of his composure. although you’re currently at his dorm, and are aware that the rest of the boys are also here, the risk of them hearing you doing something so dirty is exhilarating. your boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind either, completely detached from his surroundings and focused on the way you work 3 fingers into your hole, the way it gapes and swallows your digits. he’s breathing heavily in between his instructions, gaze dark as he continues to fuck up into his own palm. ji has always been so sweet with his praises, and everytime he calls you something as simple as pretty, you move your fingers a tad bit faster to chase your release. you’re about to inform him that you’re close, but he beats you to it by forcefully pulling your fingers away from your cunt, replacing them a few moments later with his own. jiung’s pace is less forgiving, and your control over the volume of your voice starts to waver as curls his fingers inside of you. the sensation of his ministrations, paired with the fear that any of his members could catch you in this position results in an odd buildup in your stomach. you’ve experienced earth shattering orgasms with your boyfriend before, but there is something different about the way this one is building up, and for a moment you’re terrified you’re about to piss all over his fingers and sheets. you remove one of your hands from it’s grip on his pillow and grab at jiung’s wrist instead in a panic, attempting to push him away and warn him but he doesn’t stop, in fact he only quickens his pace and scrunches his brows in concentration as you start to writhe and tremble. “ji wait! ah, fuck!” are the last words that leave your lips before you feel yourself gush all over his hand, and your eyes roll back as warm drops escape your womanhood.
your embarrassment of peeing yourself, despite how good it felt, snaps you out of the afterglow of your orgasm quicker than usual, and you’re about to apologize to the boy in front of you profusely but he cuts you off with “baby, you squirted”. when you look up at his face, he’s smiling so big, as if he’s a child that was just given a bucket of candy on halloween. “i uh, are you sure?” is the lame response that comes out of your mouth in a sigh, and you’re honestly relieved that you didn’t pee yourself and slightly less mortified at how quick you came because of your boyfriend’s pleased reaction. he just giggles in response and leans in to kiss you all over your face, his excitement is contagious, causing you to laugh along with him. “i didn’t even know i could do that..”
just when jiung is about to respond, loud knocking can be heard against his door. “you guys are so loud, can you please not fuck like rabbits when other people are here? some of us enjoy some peace and quiet”. you recognize the disgruntled voice as keeho’s, and although you’re a bit ashamed, your boyfriend just ignores the inquiry and kisses you again, fingers making their way back to your cunny as you sigh at the contact.
“keeho’s got some nerve if he thinks i’m gonna leave you alone tonight after you just squirted in front of me”
❤︎ intak
in true puppy nature, intak is obsessed with giving you backshots. doggystyle is his favorite position, he loves the way he gets full access to the sight of your bare back glistening with sweat as you praise how well he’s fucking you. tak is addicted to how your ass jiggles everytime your pelvis’ hit against each other, how he just has to peer downwards to see the ring of your frothy cum around his fat cock. yeah, intak loves giving you backshots, a fact so obvious that you’ve started to wear the skimpiest skirts around him, just to lure him into taking what you know he always wants.
tonight is no different. you’re sitting at your vanity, spritzing some of intak’s favorite scent of perfume onto your wrists and on the nape of your neck, adding minor touch ups to your full glam, and most importantly, sliding on the shortest skirt you’ve ever owned. the material clings onto the shape of your bum, and the length is so short that the bottom curve of your ass is on full display. you haven’t seen your boyfriend in days, and usually that just meant that you would have to do with your vibrator, but recently, the device just wasn’t enough, just didn’t hit the spot like your boyfriend did. to say you were sexually frustrated was an understatement. you needed to intak’s girth on your tongue, needed him to open you up and fuck you into next week. therefore, you’ve decided that tonight, you need to look as fuckable as possible. you’re determined to make intak’s jaw drop as soon as he lays his eyes on you, and once you’ve made sure you’re ready, you take one more good look at the mirror, then reach for your phone to check your text notifications. like clockwork, you receive a new message from intak as soon as you unlock your device.
takkie! <3: hi doll :) i’m here
takkie! <3: take ur time tho!
you heart his messages and giggle, thinking about how happy you are to see your boyfriend and spend time with him tonight. being away from him, even for a few days, is always such a bore. even if you plan on getting your insides rearranged in a few hours, just being within tak’s presence is enough to get you excited. as you make your way downstairs, you pull down your shirt just slightly, so your cleavage becomes visible. you slip on some wedges that match the color of your top and make your way towards intak’s bright red convertible, surprising him when you suddenly open the passenger door and plop yourself onto his leather seats. “hi baby! missed you so much!” is how you greet him, leaning in to give him a sloppy peck on the lips. you detach yourself from his face and smile innocently at him, observing the way he ogles your appearance and shamelessly stares at your breasts and legs. once he’s finally got a grip on himself, he smiles at you and tucks a stray piece of your hair behind your ear while responding with “missed you too doll, did you get all pretty jus’ for me?”
you did in fact get all pretty just for him, and you beam with victory as intak pushes your head down onto the surface of his back seats, his cock furiously pounding into you as he breathes heavy. “thought you could wear this shit and not get fucked? you’re so beautiful doll, you’re drivin’ me crazy. fuckkkkk”. tears are streaming down your cheeks, no doubt fucking up your mascara but you couldn’t care less as you internally laugh at the realization that your hunk of a boyfriend is just so easy to rile up, how you have such a big effect on him. he really is losing his mind, pathetically rutting into you like a dog as he leans forward to completely tower over your frame, hands groping your exposed tits as he tilts his head to lay kisses on your right ear. you’re chanting mantras of yes, yes, yes’ as intak plows into your heat, loving how dirty it all is, how everytime you get in the back of his car you’ll remember the feeling of your cum pooling onto his expensive seats. “gonna cum, fuck, where do you want it babe?” is the question that accompanies his sloppy thrusts, and you’re quick to beg for him to cum “inside! wanna feel it takkie”. your boyfriend quickly flips you over onto your back, and you’re about to ask what he’s doing until he enters you again, going at it impossibly faster until he feels the familiar shaking of your legs, the tightening of your cunt around him that signals that you’re close. he’s thrusting so viciously that you’re sure the car is rocking back and forth. intak’s sweat is starting to drip off onto you, and it only pushes you closer to that sweet edge. with a few more thrusts, you’re crying out and creaming around him, your juices squirting all over his seats as he pulls out to watch. you’re crying, feeling dazed and confused as to what just happened, embarrassment beginning to sink in and consume you until you look up to see intak’s face. his eyes are focused on your mess, cum weeping out of his tip as he whines louder than he ever has before. without skipping a beat, he’s pressing his cockhead against your clit, slapping it over and over in attempts to draw more juices out of you. he’s so focused, so consumed by lust that his pleas for you to “give me more. one more doll. need to see you squirt again, give it to me” come out hurried and mumbled. you’ve never seen your boyfriend quite this desperate, but it makes you hungrier for more.
long story short, you squirt over his leather seats again and he licks it all up, so your plan was in fact very successful!
❤︎ soul
you and shota have been at this for about a week. for context, it’s been precisely six days since you and your boyfriend lost your virginities to each other. six days ago you allowed soul to see you bare, touch and kiss you wherever he so pleased, and six days ago was the first instance where you realized why your classmates were always so crazy for sex.
so where, may you ask, has your recent deflowering led you to? well, back to your boyfriend’s bed, where your hands pull and tug at his long hair frantically as you search for a release. when you initially decided that you were ready to lose your virginity to soul, you didn’t really know what to expect other than pain. as it turns out, you and shota had such an incredible first time that you’ve spent the entire remainder of the week with your bodies never apart, every moment together being occupied with the two of you exploring each other with your fingers and tongues. it’s become concerning actually, how the loss of your virginity has only led you to become more curious. you want to know of each and every sound you can pull out of your lover, if he whines or groans, if he prefers to fuck into the warmth of your mouth or the plush of your thighs.
so like i said, you and shota have been at this for about a week. currently, he has you on your knees, letting you take the lead as he watches you suck and lick the tip of his heavy cock. you collect his precum into your mouth, smearing some excess onto your lips as you look up to lock eyes with him. sho is definitely pleased, enjoying the attention to his cock more than he’d ever admit out loud. he attempts to hide his groans by biting down on his bottom lip, but it’s no use when you start to bob your head up and down his length with no warning. his resolve is wavering, toes are curling, whines come out more freely as he never dares to break eye contact with you. you love the effect you have on your boyfriend, a fact that has only become evident to you this week during your self-proclaimed “sexcapade”. when shota is close, his length slightly twitches on your tongue and you take the reaction as a sign to release him with a pop!, much to his annoyance. “why’d you stop?” he frustratedly asks you, wincing as if he’s just been punched. “wanna try something…” is the only reply you give soul as the gears turn in your head, and suddenly your latching your hands onto the back of your boyfriend’s thighs and lightly pushing him onto the bed. he has a quizzical expression on his features, but he enjoys that you’re excited to try something new with him, this entire week proving to him that he’d do anything you asked him to, just to see you fall apart and sigh his name. you instruct your boyfriend to lay down flat against your bedsheets, and he follows suit right away, making your heart swoon before you resume your plan. shota opts to stay silent, trusting you with whatever you want to try, and he stays quiet when your putting one leg on either side of his head, dropping your pelvis onto his tongue as you face his cock, continuing to suck him off while he returns the favor to you. this position makes you feel so powerful, like you’re the only one who’s allowed to call the shots. your boyfriend doesn’t have any complaints either, just happy to have your cunt on his tongue and his cock on yours. the two of you work in, for the most part, silence, aside from the occasional groans and moans that slip past your lips when one of you adds additional pressure. every time your tongue presses against the slit of his cock, or your mouth sucks on his fat head, you make mental notes of all of the sounds of pleasure you can hear behind you. your thoughts begin to drift, thinking about how you can’t believe you led shota to doing something so nasty, something you would most likely see in a corny porno, but as he laps and slurps at your pussy lips, you decide you couldn’t care less. soul is very good at giving head, another epiphany you have had this week, which excites you a little too much. you’re pulled back into reality from your thoughts, however, when your boyfriend uses his teeth to slightly nip at your clit, putting enough pressure to make you squeal.
“sho! god keep doing that.. ‘s good, feels sooooo good!” is what breaks the silence in your bedroom, and soul is nothing if not a quick learner. he continues to flatten his tongue against the groove of your vaginal lips, top to bottom until he reaches your little bud, then biting at it to get another pleasured noise out of you. he goes a little overboard with the biting, but you only push against his mouth, so he figures it must feel good and continues to please you. you on the other hand, have completely abandoned shota’s cock, too preoccupied with noticing how different the coil in your pelvis feels, how much more intense it builds up until it finally snaps, and what follows is only describable as pure bliss. you’re loud, moans are wanton as you grind your hips onto shota’s tongue, riding out your high when you realize that you feel a lot wetter than you would with your typical orgasm. you finally lift your pussy off of shota’s face and the sudden change of position makes you aware of the cum splattered on the side of your cheek, signifying that your boyfriend got a little too excited by your climax. you pivot your body to face him, mostly to make sure you didn’t go too overboard, and are met with shota’s pretty face, glistening with a strange wetness that you soon realize is yours. you stare at your boyfriend as he begins to lick at his own mouth and chin, eyes darkening as he grabs and kisses you messily. you can taste your essence on your own tongue and whine at how desperate shota is being, how your explosive orgasm has begun to show you a side of soul you didn’t know existed. the rest of the night is spent with your boyfriend making you squirt over and over again hehe <3 he lives to make you feel good
❤︎ jongseob
“need to feel you, ah! in me seobie, please! wan’ your cock in me sooo bad, please put it in?”
the pathetic words that come out of your mouth before you can even think of stopping yourself have the biggest effect on the boy under you. you’re currently straddling your boyfriend, grinding your panty-clad cunt on the outline of his dick, staining seob’s sweatpants with a small patch of your wetness. you don’t know why you’re feeling especially needy today, but seeing your boyfriend after a hard, long week of class makes you crave to be filled up by him. jongseob looks up at you in astonishment, lips forming a cute little “o” as his hands are placed tightly on both sides of your waist. he take this time to admire how sexy you look like this, grinding on him in only a crop top and tiny pair of panties. he could definitely get used to the view, and has to bite back pathetic moans of his own from escaping his plush lips, wanting to fully focus on the sounds you make as you hump him like a bitch in heat. he’s about to tell you to slow down, that he’ll take care of you but he needs to stretch you out first, but you’re not patient enough to wait for him to answer your previous pleas. his eyes widen as he watches you huff and pause the roll of your hips, and seob nearly faints when you cross your arms to pull your skimpy top off of your body, or when you hook your fingers under his sweats, pulling them down just far enough to where you can grab at his now exposed dick. to this, he sits up onto his elbows, not wanting to jump into penetrating you without prepping you first.
“princess wait, are you sure? haven’t stretched you out yet, don’t wanna hurt you baby..” he sweetly informs you, making you pause for a minute to look into his eyes. you scan all over his face, how his blonde bangs are now damp with sweat and stuck to his forehead, the mole below his eye that you love so much, the heart eyes he’s shooting at you, and his pink lips struggling to hold in his heavy breaths. you grab his face with your hands and give him one long kiss on the lips before you pull back to reply, “wanna make it hurt seobie, wanna feel you all up in my guts, please, been thinkin’ about it all day!” and fuck, how is he supposed to tell his princess no when she’s asking for his cock so sweetly? your request is enough initiative for jongseob to flip you over with haste, towering over you as he pinches your panties to the side and slips in, not worried about discarding the rest of his clothes as he’s only concerned with pounding into your cunny until you’re completely filled up to the brim with his seed. his hands are everywhere, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, caressing your pretty face, kneading at your tits, until he finally settles one hand on your waist, and the other around your throat. the slight weight and pressure of his hold makes your eyes roll back. “oh my- fuck, yes!! you’re so fucking big seobie!” is what urges your boyfriend to snap his hips even harder into you, his ego boosted by just how loud you are. you’re so responsive, he can feel your pussy tightening around him into a vice grip, as if you want to milk him for everything he has and more. your begs and whines only increase in volume when he dips a finger down to play with your clit, and after a few seconds you’re crashing, melting into him as he continues to fuck you through both of your orgasms. he’s peppering your face in kisses to bring you down from cloud nine, praising you for being so sexy, so good for him. you don’t even realize that this is the first time you’ve squirted in front of your boyfriend until he’s sinking down to level with your cunt, displaying a crazy look in his eyes before he dives in and starts to fuck his tongue into you with as much vigor as he fucked you with earlier. pulls away for a moment to take a good look at your face, and then opening his mouth to say,
“you’re so sexy baby, gonna make you squirt again. you wanted this, right? wanted it so bad and now you’re twitching like you can’t handle it. gon’ fuck you into next week baby, will you let me?”
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a/n: i <3 needy piwon
taglist: @woozixo @hearts4chanhee @kyokopi @astro-doll-the-star @soobiary @kyaaramello @t3ssamoodboard @angelcbf @idontknow-1s-world @vivienne-sim @elissasimp @imjustayapper @ihatewreckingballmains @sosaverse @seobing @www90kitsch @khfviq @barbiekh86t @bbyjjunie @taeyangi @fullsunstrawberry @jihnyah @intheemptymirror @watamotee33 @dreamer1299 @jixnnsie @wonootnoot @yukx-x047 @cysier @fishsquishh
© kisseobie, please do not repost my writing!
❤︎
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hwallazia · 6 months ago
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GIVE IN TO ME – 최산
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synopsis . in which san gives you some special princess treatment.
pairing . choi san & fem! reader
genre . smut (mdni!), fluff & comfort, established relationship, non idol!au
taglist . @bro-atz @purplenimsicle | apply to join my taglist ���
word count . 0,4k
DISCLAIMER! dom! san (even though in here he’s devoted to reader’s 🐱), sub! reader, fingering, praise, dirty talk, lots of touching and whimpering, cutie & lovely petnames lol (sweetheart, princess, doll, good girl), in conclusion; just san being a sweet gentleman w reader <3
NIC’S NOTES I KNOOOW i should be working on a ton of asks and i am !! it’s just that they’re not ready yet, still gotta reread and edit them :// buuut, i saw a couple of pics of san’s hands a few days ago and i just couldn’t help myself -.- ALSOO SAN IN WORK MV?? i felt things i wasn’t okay with ;o so expect a cowboy san drabble soon ~ ♡
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imagine san, caressing your skin like the princess you are for him, his left hand holding your hip tightly while his right intensely pounds your entrance, soaked from so much foreplay. the atmosphere was perfect and the air smelled strongly of sex, making it increasingly difficult to breathe. your cries did nothing but incite him to continue teasing you, your thighs quivering in response.
“sannie p-please...” you stammered pathetically, not knowing what you were pleading for. all you knew was that you didn’t want him to stop, the feeling being too good to be true. your manicured pink nails traced cat-like scratches on the muscle of his strong arm.
“please what, sweetheart?” he giggled when you whimpered in response, dipping another finger inside your slick cunt. san’s hold on your hip tightened. “don’t even need to put my mouth on you, just my fingers are enough to turn you into a mess,” he babbled, lost in how your folds perfectly sucked his phalanges, already fantasizing about the feeling of his cock inside you. squelching noises emitted from the slickness of it echoed through the room.
“f-fuckk” you stuttered as your back arched into a perfect crescent moon, san sighing happily at the sight of it. god, he’s so in love with the expressions you do when he’s filling you up with pleasure. the way your eyes squeeze as a couple of tears try to escape out of them, and the way your mouth hangs open in response to the overwhelming satisfaction he provides you are details that he never misses in sessions like these.
“god, you’re so perfect. so perfect for me” he whispered under his breath in a heart-warming tone, his words causing you to clench around his fingers. of course, san didn’t let it go overlooked, his reaction being an egocentric smirk decorating his thin lips.
“come on, princess. cum on my fingers,” he uttered as he kissed your thighs, the rhythm of his fingers stimulating your entrance becoming faster. your mind wasn’t processing any coherent information, the only thing that went through it was san, his fingers, and how sexy he looked as he bit his bottom lip. “give in to me, doll.”
his fingers which had been ramming that sweet spot for five minutes now touched it once more. and that was the climactic moment, the moment you came undone under san’s touch. your mouth hung open as you moaned loudly repeating san’s name between them. his ear tingling at those sweet sounds.
“thaat’s it. good girl.” he praised, sliding his index and middle finger up and down your sensitive folds as he helped you to ride your high. his left hand stroking the outer side of your thighs.
“you good for another round, atta girl?”
| masterlist
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twstowo · 10 months ago
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Bro you can't just make a forehead kissing post and NOT do the rest of the characters 😭🙏 /j
No but actually can you do the first years? I like to imagine all this started with a dare from one of them coughcoughACEcough and now Yuu's just going around sniping all their friends' foreheads with their lips
♡︎ You are right anon, I will redeem myself by doing all the characters.
♡︎ Includes: First Years
[Here]☆[Second years]☆[Third Years]☆[One final forehead kiss]☆[Extras]
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The quest for giving everyone a forehead kiss began when you stumbled upon Ace, deeply engrossed in his thoughts. His hair danced in the gentle breeze, adding an extra layer of charm to his profile. Unable to resist, you tried to slowly approach him without making any sound, trying your best to catch him by surprise and when you came close enough to him you interrupted his daydreaming with a tender forehead kiss.
"What was that for?" he laughed, his response oozing with self-assurance. And to be fair his smug demeanour grated on your nerves, you just gave him a forehead kiss and he reacted like that? No, way! He needed a reality check!
"If you didn't appreciate it, I'll just find Deuce and shower him with forehead kisses instead!" you told him, enjoying the surprise in Ace's widened eyes. Unwilling to back down, he rolled his eyes and stood up.
"Go ahead! Kiss the entire school's forehead! See if I care." Those words struck a chord, prompting you to turn on your heel and leave him to his own devices. You were going to make him regret saying those words.
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
⋆⋅☆Deuce:
As soon as you kiss his forehead, he becomes a mess. He touches the spot you just kissed, trying to form any coherent words. Just show him your forehead and tap it, as if telling him to kiss you back, he turns red but kisses you as quickly as he sees you gesture for him to kiss you, as if he always wanted to do that. His hand cups your face, tenderly caressing your cheeks without even thinking.
He daydreams about these moments for the next few weeks.
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
⋆⋅☆Jack:
Feeling extremely embarrassed by the unexpected gesture, he avoids eye contact and looks everywhere but your face. After a while, he musters the courage to thank you, and then you both find yourselves in a silent, awkward moment. If you linger without leaving, he eventually gathers more courage and asks if you'd like a forehead kiss in return. If you agree, he gives you a quick kiss, followed by a gentle pat on the head.
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
⋆⋅☆Epel:
Finds himself in an internal struggle, Epel wrestles with various thoughts. Does your gesture mean you see him as cute? Is it an affront to his masculinity? Does he need to step up his game? Swiftly, he decides to take action, pulling you by the waist and delivering a surprisingly passionate kiss. Once he's done, he turns as red as you, contemplating the consequences of his impulsive move.
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
⋆⋅☆Ortho:
He is so happy with your forehead kiss that he starts to delve into an explanation of the significance behind various types of kisses. He proceeds to suggest the kinds of kisses you should bestow upon his brother. At this point, he's essentially delivering a lecture on the art of kissing. Idia passes behind the two of you and overhears the conversation, for the next week you can’t find him anywhere, he is way too embarrassed to show up in front of you.
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
⋆⋅☆Sebek:
Grateful to the Seven for the unforgettable moment, Sebek cherishes your gesture, vowing to remember it for the rest of his life. Then he proceeds to tell you that your actions are obscene and that you shouldn't just kiss him like that out of nowhere. Throughout the week, he can't shake off the memory, and whenever he encounters you, he blushes, scowls, and quickly turns away, unable to contain his embarrassment.
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livelovecucumber · 4 months ago
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BRUTALLY HONEST effects of hitting my UGW of 45 kg / 100 lbs
So as I’ve mentioned on my blog, I hit my ugw of 45kg in 2020 and since been in recovery (recently rel4psed) and wanted to list some effects of being underw3ight that I noticed.
1. Food allergies. I got sensitive to several foods and drinks while being underweight. Some of them I can consume again after years of recovery. These include: Extreme sensitivity to caffeine & coffee (feel like i’m sick, still can’t consume it and it used to be my fave). Sensitivity to raw vegetables. Lactose intolerance.
2. Heart problems. I have unexplained heart problems since being underweight. I will get suddenly get an abnormally high bpm (200+) while resting at completely random times. This is scary and extremely painful. It hurts in my entire body, feel like I can’t breathe and my jaw hurts. Can last for 5-45 min and will leave me unable to do anything in that time period. Will leave me tired for 2-3 days. Has been happening less in the last year of recovery. Not anxiety related.
3. Memory loss. I would completely forget my sentence in the middle of it. I would forget the entire day and every small detail. Been experiencing both long term and short term memory loss since being underweight. Still struggling with retaining information.
4. Speech problems. Probably related to memory loss. I spoke extremely slow and struggled with forming sentences, and I still do. I struggle with remembering words and will sometimes take a while to form a coherent sentence.
5. Less picky. Incredibly enough, I have become way less picky since being underweight as starving made me desire ANY food available. This has made me appreciate every small taste. Great for learning to eat less desirable “healthy” foods.
6. Loss of good judgement. When I was underweight I had little to no self reflection in my actions. I had my values and morals but the lines seemed to blur as my ability to think properly depleted and I started acting more unconsciously attention seeking and egocentric, without my knowledge. This was in all aspects of my life. I thought I was in complete control but regained common knowledge as soon as I recovered.
7. Constipation. When at my lowest weight, I was constantly constipated and bloated. Laxatives did not work.
8. People acted differently. People treated me completely differently and started treating me like a child and as if I was stupid. They also gave me more compliments and were nicer to me in general. I noticed other girls felt more awkward around me compared to when I was heavier.
9. Mood swings. No shocker but being underweight made my mood swing a lot. I would cry over nothing and act out incredibly when things didn’t turn out. I also acted more kind and timid towards others in general than I used to. I was more careful with hurting others and more sensitive and empathetic in general.
10. Hair growth. I didn’t really notice my hair growing faster on my body but my hair on my head got a lot longer.
Honorable mentions: Constant unexplained bruising, constant cold feeling, feeling sick almost every day, childish behaviour in general, didn’t feel mature and indulged in very childish hobbies & likes. Dumbed myself down on purpose a lot due to memory loss & speech issues.
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jamespotterismydaddy · 1 year ago
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Cleaning Off
step!dad daemon x reader smut
A/N: for all the ppl who requested it! sorry this was rushed oops
TW: smut!!, DUBCON, spanking, pussy slapping, daddy kink, degrading, rough sex, overstim
wordcount: 1,121
last part
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You do as your stepfather bids and make your way to your bed after pulling your pjs back on, the soreness between your legs making your steps painful. You lay there, dazed, as you wait for him to come and get you, the rough pounding you received causing you to not be able to form any coherent thoughts.
You hear mumbling outside your door. Daemon explains to your mother that you aren’t feeling well and are sleeping off the sickness. She coos with pity in response before thanking him for taking the day off work to care for you. It isn’t long before you hear the front door close, signalling that your mother has left. You can hear footsteps approaching your room and you turn over, pretending to be asleep as you hear the door open.
“I know you’re not sleeping, pet.” Daemon says as he walks over to you and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. You roll back over and look up at him. “I’m not finished with you yet.” He smirks and lets his fingers run across your lips before pushing them into your mouth. You suck on them like a child with a pacifier and he keeps them there for a few moments. “We have lots more play to do today.” He takes the fingers out of your mouth.
“I already feel sticky.” You pout and he gives you a look before pulling the blankets off of you.
“I’ll clean you off then.” He hauls you over his shoulder and begins to make his way to the master bathroom.
“Hey put me do- ow!” You squeal as he slaps your ass for complaining.
“Stop your mewling, little pet.” He takes you into the bathroom and sets you down so you’re sitting on the counter. “Let’s take this off then.” He grabs the hem of your pj top and begins to lift it up but your delicate hands grab at his wrists.
“I can shower by myself.” He just laughs at that.
“I don’t think so.” He takes your top off forcefully and tugs your bottoms and panties off as well. You try to cover yourself with your hands. “Such a shy girl. What are you covering that beautiful body for? Don’t you want daddy to take care of you?” You blush as he pulls your arms away, his gaze falling on your chest. “Perfect fucking tits. Spread your legs a little, baby.” You don’t move so he sighs and pries your legs apart and gives you a sharp slap right on your pearl.
“Ah!” You squeal and recoil at the feeling.
“Don’t disobey me anymore.” He says sternly. He then walks over to turn on the shower before stripping himself down. Your eyes widen as you notice the size of him. You never realized how long and thick he is and you wonder how it ever fit inside you. “C’mon.” He says and picks you up again under your thighs and takes you into the shower. “You gotta stand now, princess.” He advises and places you back on your feet under the water.
Daemon grabs a washcloth and lathers it up with soap. He stands behind you with one hand on your waist and the other wiping you down. He washes you silently for a few minutes and it’s almost… nice? That’s before the hand on your waist begins to wander gently down your tummy. He makes gentle circles and patterns before sliding his hand between your legs.
“N-Not there.” You beg as he begins to rub back and forth.
“Daddy is just making sure you’re clean everywhere, princess.” He says and then smirks when you whimper. “I think you need extra cleaning here.” He rubs directly on your pearl and you become putty in his hands, having to reach back and hold his other arm to stable yourself. “Actually I know just the tool you need for a proper cleaning.” You feel his hardness press against you and he pushes you flush against the wall, holding your hands behind your back.
“Nooo I can’t again.” You whine.
“You can, pet and you will.” You gasp as he slides himself in and once again gives you no chance to adjust as he begins thrusting into you.
“Wait… slower!” You beg and he scoffs.
“We both know you like this. You’re such a whore for daddy’s cock.” He says while plowing into you. There’s no such thing as gentle with Daemon Targaryen.
“Hurtsss.” You whine again and he spanks your ass.
“Don’t be such a brat. Your tight little cunt took me fine before and it’s going to do it again.” He says firmly, his pace getting rougher somehow. 
Your stepfather then grabs you by the hair and tugs it to the side so he can kiss you. You whimper softly into his mouth as he hits the sweet spot inside of you. He then lets go of your hair and rubs harshly on the most sensitive part of your pearl, causing you to scream.
“What would your mother think if she saw you acting like such a slut right now?” He laughs at you and it only makes you squeeze around him more. “Oh you like that? You like it when I treat you like the whore that you are. You’re my personal fucking cocksleave now, pet. I hope you understand that.” You can only whine in response, words not coming to your mind. He feels you squeeze him more and he knows you’re getting close. “You gonna cum for me, little girl?” You nod as much as you can. “Beg.”
“P-Please… daddy… need it.” He knows that it’s all you can manage to say so he lets you.
“Cum for me then.” You moan loudly as you reach your peak, squeezing him like a vice but he doesn’t stop fucking into you.
“Wait… no more.” You whimper but it doesn’t stop him.
“You’re not the one in charge here, I am.” He says simply as he continues to slam his hips against yours.
“No I-I can't.” You feel the tears spring to your eyes as you try to free your hands from his grasp.
“I’m almost done, baby. Just a little bit longer. You’re doing so well for me.” He assures you and continues to thrust in and out of you for about a minute longer as you cry. When he’s finally done, he spills his seed deep inside of you. “Good job, pet.” He praises and turns you around so he can hold you. “We’ll clean you off again and then you can come cuddle in daddy’s bed, okay?” He presses a kiss to your head and you nod.
“O-Okay.” You breathe out.
taglist (comment to be added): @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy
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sitepathos · 2 months ago
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hey, I wanted to ask a couple of obvious or non-obvious things about the so-called "mold" because the very idea of it the first time I read it seemed very strange to me and I read it constantly interrupting myself to think whether it was really good or bad, BUT, the further it went, the more I started to like it terribly and as a result I had questions about this... thing.
Abilities and knowledge are good, but what about the other side of all this? Are there any side effects, so to speak? And what about weaknesses, both obvious and perhaps not obvious? Can this somehow greatly affect ordinary life? And if there are weaknesses and they can be used well in general, then could the BatFamily use them to their advantage?
(Sorry if it’s not coherent, I’m writing in a rush of questions and feelings...)
I’ve thought about doing a detailed report on how the Megamycete affects you, so thank you for asking this!
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Powers
Mycokinesis: with the Megamycete in your body, you can call upon its mold from within and create weapons like tendrils and armor composed of hardened mold. You can also control the roots that are all around Gotham and use them however you see fit.
Quorum Sensing: the roots of the Megamycete have spread all throughout Gotham for over four-hundred years, serving as its eyes and ears. You can tap into the roots and see anywhere you wish just by thinking of it, even if you’re far from the city. This is also seen when you turned into a murder of crows; while you were composed of multiple birds, they shared a single consciousness and you were able to see from all their perspectives all at once.
Record Access: the Megamycete has absorbed countless corpses over the centuries, both man and beast, and assimilating their memories, knowledge, and even DNA into its archives. Thanks to this, you can call upon this living repository and use it as if it were your own. Because of this, you technically have the knowledge and qualifications for many kinds of occupations and diplomas that would take years to obtain.
Shapeshifting: thanks to the Megamycete bonding with you at the genetic level and its vase records, you can call change into any form you desire, be it a bird, a beast, or a long-dead human (and you have even assume their voice if you desire). You can also make modifications to your real body, such as making a pair of functioning wings without assuming a bird form.
Regeneration: thanks to the Megamycete’s mold, you can heal from even the most serious wounds, such as gunshot wounds. You can lose a limb and you can just stick it back on your body and you’ll be as good as new (or just grow another one if the old limb can’t be recovered).
Superhuman Stamina: as stated in Chapter 6, the Megamycete gives you incredible stamina, reducing your need for food or rest (though you can still feel mentally fatigued as stated in Chapter 4). You still consume food and sleep because you actually enjoy these, but they don’t sustain you like they did before. The Megamycete’s all you need.
Superhuman Strength: the Megamycete makes you far stronger than you ever were before and gives you more strength than any normal human could ever have. Don’t misunderstand, you’re not Superman, but you could throw Bane around like a rag doll.
Benefits
In conclusion, the Megamycete makes you far faster, stronger, and smarter than any normal human.
Weaknesses
Unsurprisingly, the Megamycete’s mold has a vulnerability to fire. If we go by video game logic, it makes sense that a “plant-type” monster like the Megamycete could easily be hurt by.
Following the same video game logic, the Megamycete’s also vulnerable to the cold. Mold (normal, non-sentient mold) can still be found in cold environments, but it becomes dormant in freezing temperatures. While the Megamycete is more powerful than regular mold, it went into a kind of hibernation when it still resided in Gotham as it gets very cold in winter.
And while this is a bit of a spoiler, the Megamycete can be vulnerable to forms of toxins/poisons. While it can metabolize any hazardous substances and survive, if a specially designed toxin is designed to target its strain of mold, it could pose a very serious risk to the Megamycete. But, it would require special equipment, extensive knowledge in mycology and toxicology, and lots of money. Know anyone that fits that description?
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cowboykento · 1 year ago
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brat.
minors dni!!! warnings: face fucking, hair pulling, kind of mean dom!nanami (he is still so loving, i can't help myself), pet names (angel, sweetheart, princess, etc), light degradation (slut, brat), someone got a little... inspired after seeing nanami in the new episode. wc: 855
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“You really thought you could send me that in the middle of work and I’d just let you get away with it?”
The grip Nanami has on your hair makes your head spin. You’d sneakily sent him a photo of yourself in his favorite lingerie and a flirty little ‘miss you :(‘. Of course you knew he couldn’t do anything about it until he got home, but that made it all the more fun. 
“Such a filthy little slut,” he growls, holding your head inches away from his so you can feel his breath as he bites out harsh words. “Anybody could have seen that, but you know that, don’t you? Or did you want that?”
You whimper as he yanks your head back to suck a dark bruise into your neck, “No, no. Just for you, Kento.”
He nips at the spot he’s left, “Damn right you are. All mine. My slutty little girl, aren’t you?” 
You nod your head furiously, trying with everything in your body to grind down on Nanami’s thigh that he’s pressed between your legs, keeping any relief or pleasure just barely out of reach from you. 
Tears flood your eyes as he pulls back on your hair, “Use your words, sweetheart. You’ve already been so bad today, you don’t want to make it worse, do you?”
“No,” you stutter out, “No, I’ll be good for you, promise.” 
Nanami pulls you in to kiss your lips hungrily, nearly devouring you before he pushes your head down, forcing you to your knees, “That’s right, you will be a good girl for me, won’t you? Always are. Just wanted to be a little brat today, didn’t you? Wanted me to set you straight. That’s alright sweetheart, you know I’m more than happy to do a little… attitude adjustment. Take my cock out, baby, come on, it’s all yours.”
You do as he says, entranced and hanging onto every word that falls from his mouth like they’re the oxygen you breathe. You undo his belt and unzip his slacks quickly, not wanting to be accused of teasing and punished even more. 
Nanami keeps your hair out of your face in a vice grip that makes your scalp burn. You pull down his pants and boxers and his cock springs out, already leaking from the tip. 
You lean in to lick the pre away before Nanami pulls your head back sharply, “Nuh uh, sweetheart. You take what I give you tonight,” he warns, inching his cock closer to your waiting lips. 
Your eyes are glazed over and you’re nearly drunk on the feeling of being dominated by Nanami as he slaps the tip of his dick on your lips a few times, smearing his pre all over your lips and chin. 
In a much softer tone, one you’re more used to hearing from your husband, he says, “Tap my leg if I’m being too rough, sweetheart,” before thrusting himself into your hot mouth. 
You fight not to gag as Nanami lets out a groan that sets off the butterflies in your tummy. Nanami forces you up and down his cock, his pace instantly brutal as he fucks himself with your throat. 
“This is what you wanted, isn’t it? You’re so naughty when you wanna be, but we both know better don’t we? My little angel just wanted some tough love, didn’t she? Knew I’d give it to her, spoiled brat.” 
You moan at Nanami’s words and tears roll down your cheeks. You don’t think you’ve ever been more turned on in your life, never been so desperate to have Nanami inside you, pounding you even more senseless than you’ve already become. You know Nanami wouldn’t approve right now, but you can’t help sneaking your hand down between your legs to finally give yourself some relief, rubbing your clit just slightly, hoping that Nanami wouldn’t catch on. 
If your brain wasn’t so hazy, you would’ve known better than to do anything other than what your husband explicitly tells you to do, but you can’t even form coherent thoughts right now, much less differentiate which ones are good or bad. 
“Oh, princess,” Nanami groans, not relenting from his brutal pace, “put your hands behind your back for me, won’t you? Can’t have you touching my pussy without permission, can we? It’s okay, sweetheart, know you wouldn’t do it if you could help it.” 
Tears continue falling, now from frustration and desperation as well. You can tell Nanami’s close when he picks up his pace, his cock twitching in your mouth. You make an effort to run your tongue along the base when it reaches your mouth, and like that Nanami’s shooting his load down your throat, squeezing on your hair and forcing you to take every drop. 
“Fuck, angel, fuck,” he groans breathlessly, finally letting his grip in your hair loosen as he pulls himself out of your mouth. 
You swallow his cum happily, a sight which makes Kento’s worn out dick twitch back to life, even if he’s seen it a million times before. 
“Fuck,” he pants, “now let’s take care of that bratty little pussy.”
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sorry guys i went into a blind writing frenzy and this is the result. my brain shut off immediately after seeing the new episode.
minors/blank blogs dni or you’ll get blocked :3
hope u all enjoyed thx for reading!
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rose-tinted-kalopsia · 2 months ago
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"floral blessings" ; a braindump from yours truly because this card is absofuckinglutely my most favorite xavier card on the face of the planet and i am. going. to talk about it <3
like with all my 5* card "analyses" (but also more like a wordvomit really 😭) this will contain spoilers for: (a) this card itself, (b) the lightseeker myth, (c) the lumiere myth, (d) anecdotes, main story, and world underneath !
[ this is also very long............ you have been warned 🤲 ]
first of all...... MY GOD...... FHSNNFBSJFJSJFK YELLING SCREAMING THROWING UP IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE KINDLED CARD FOR THIS BECAUSE. BECAUSE HELLOOOO??? HELLOOOO???
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anyway..................
timeline-wise, the card pretty much implies a very solid relationship between the two, so while i don't know where i'd place it between 21 days and no restraint, it's definitely still after 21 days! but with that said, rather than more focus on their individual development like in no restraint, this one seems to focus more on their relationship as a whole, i think?
overall this braindump won't be as organized as what i wrote for no restraint (i think...) because my brain is still so completely absolutely mush over this card, but i needed to write SOMETHING or i'd explode to smithereens 😭 so nevertheless...!!!! i'll section off a couple scenes so if you want an outline, it'd be something like:
[1] general setup (an overview of parallels); [2] "reunion" (parallels and relationship development); [3] xavier's forwardness (the courtyard meetings, lessons, giving of the mask); [4] day of the festival; [5] the wish
but bear with me;;; there is SO MUCH that goes on here, and i really wish i had the patience and coherency to point out every little thing because holy shit 😭
firstly though, and i just found this really cool, but apparently the flower goddess festival is (was) an actual thing!
from what i've found (and correct me in i'm wrong) it's apparently a very ancient festival that's not widely celebrated these days, so it's not super popular or well-known, but it has many names such as: "Flower Goddess Festival (花神节 huāshén jié)" "Hundred Flowers’ Birthday (百花生日 bǎihuā shēngrì)" and "Flower Goddess’ Birthday (花神生日 huāshén shēngrì)" !!! i couldn't find much information about it though, but it seems that what was in the card such as the flower cakes and the dance really were actually part of the festival~ and i've also seen people say that xavier and mc's outfits feel to be from the tang dynasty, which a lot of people speculate is the time period that this festival originated!
BUT, MOVING ON...
i. general setup — an overview of parallels
i think honestly what's most interesting to me here is how much the overall card mirrors xavier's lightseeker myth so incredibly well. with all of xavier's cards, and how he's grown as a person and how their relationship has developed overall... so much of all of that ties to who he was as a lightseeker, to who he was as the prince of philos. in fact, it goes without saying that lumiere's myth story itself is so bound to the lightseeker myth. because, and i've said this so often and repeat myself a lot with it, lumiere is a direct reflection of the princely persona xavier has grown up with. that the reason he's always been so averse to who he becomes as lumiere is because he essentially channels prince xavier, someone who he's never thought to be truly him, someone who he's been wanting to push aside and no longer be. (i talk about it in my lumiere myth braindumps and touch on it in my no restraint braindump!)
and there's something about that reflection that transfers here, too, because there are two things that all three situations have in common: (1) a position of importance, and (2) a duty to do or fulfil something.
of the prince of philos and heir to the throne, of lumiere as the strongest hunter expected to protect the citizens, of the young master—usually the son of a wealthy family, however, in this case xavier claims he was "adopted" due to his calligraphy skills—with the task of seeing the festival through and teaching the flower goddesses calligraphy.
yet, at the same time, there's something different about the way xavier assumes this role of the "young master":
he's able to say no.
the role is lighter, likely because it's not a true role and, like mc as a flower goddess, he knows that it's temporary—but the way that their first meeting in the courtyard can remind you so much of prince xavier is almost jarring.
it's reminiscent of the very first time mc sees him with his bodyguards, in our most favorite anecdote "when shooting stars fall":
"They aren't clad in all black as one would expect, and they keep a respectable distance away from Xavier. Still, these people exude an air of oppression. Xavier, with his bag, is at the center of their group. It seems he's used to being stared at. The only difference is that rather than being his usual expressionless self, he appears slightly upset."
lt's reminiscent of that time they staged a spar, only for the royal messenger and his guards to interrupt it:
"The royal decree he brought today was related to the future of Philos ... Xavier was taken away by the Royal Messenger. Our duel ended with no clear winner, and the crowd quickly left."
and you can see how his progression grows, from prince xavier, to lumiere, to this role he plays as the young master—if as the prince of philos he had no choice but to follow the path laid out for him until he had enough of it, as lumiere he was more free to choose who he saved and when he saved them. now, as the young master, he's able to say no, sir, something urgent came up. he's able to say right now, i have something that i want to do first.
which, also interestingly, but in the more 'passive' role he played as part of the special task force, he wasn't quite one to say "no" either—though he kept a low and nonchalant profile, he's never outright refuted anyone, even if he might disagree, such as the party gathering or whatnot.
(also, slight segue, but it's notable that he's likely grown into a habit of a little selfishness due to what appears to be some kind of aversion to "serving the people". i do talk a little bit about that here—but it's the fact that (a) all he really cares about is mc, and (b) he likely still doesn't want to fall back into his patterns as prince xavier where he felt chained to think of the people more than the woman he loves. it does bring a little bit of question to his morality, but we know that mc has very much been something like his moral compass throughout.)
but, more than just the ability to say what he thinks and say no to certain things he doesn't put as a priority... he also feels light enough to goof around a little. dozing off/doodling during class, cheekily vying for mc's attention without concern about showing "favor"... something about xavier in this little persona he's taken on is an air of confidence. this was a kind of confidence you didn't see from him as the prince, as lumiere, even as the task force member. and it's not the confidence in his abilities, which has always been there—
it's the confidence in himself.
it takes a certain level of sureness to be able to do things on your own terms, or to be able to voice the fact that you want to.
i believe that throughout the parallels strewn throughout this card with how the setup is, it's this confidence that shines through and really makes things different.
because this time, xavier is different.
he's growing as a person.
ii. the "reunion"
this part of the card had me gasping out loud, i kid you not 😭😭😭 because the parallels really the fuck parallel in here 😭
"The Chen residence is far away. And I can't exactly leave as I'm one of the Flower Goddesses. So, I had to let Xavier investigate himself."
"He said he'd be back after four days. Why isn't he here ... Worried, I sit on the grass and gaze at the night sky. I'm barely in the mood to appreciate the fragrant blooms above."
first of all, the setting very much feels like the meteor shower scenario in "when shooting stars fall", but also...
"Xavier would always leave me like this. At times he joined the expedition team. Other times he was returning to the palace with the Royal Messenger. I'd always ask when he could return. He always returned within the timeframe given to me.Before the Prince entered the Forest, everyone was praying for his safety. At that time, Xavier whispered into my ear... 'Seven days.'"
"He's always lied, again and again and again and again. He said hope would follow when spring arrived. He said he'd take me to the new planet he discovered.He said he didn't want to be King but also refused to let me stand by another's side. He said he'd return when I miss him. He said when I become the Queen of Philos, he'd be my knight. The song he made up is now a reality. Yet as thousands cheer my name, he abandons me... At that moment, a spaceship soars across the sky like a shooting star, disappearing into the night. My footsteps echo in this empty room. No one will be by my side. My star has left me. And this time... he will not return home."
everyone's favorite scene from the lightseeker myth.
while at the same time...
"For some reason, seeing Xavier quietly admiring the nebula, I suddenly feel a wave of panic and instinctively reach out to grab his hand."
^ that's from "shining traces", but only one out of the many examples wherein mc feels as it xavier is someone she could lose at any second—not particularly because she doesn't trust him, but because there's a nagging feeling in her chest that they could be separated for longer than either of them would have hoped to be. after all, it's happened before already, she just doesn't know it. but whatever it was that happened in her previous lives, i've no doubt that the anxiety from back then had likely transferred over anyway.
and this is what this reunion feels like.
a sense of discomfort around his absence, that nagging "what if" he doesn't come back.
but it doesn't stop there—
because xavier does return, albeit very tired-looking (again i'd call this reminiscent of That Moment in "when shooting stars fall" where he brings her the protocore in hopes to keep her from dying).
and more than that, he explains. again, like what happened in the no restraint card, he explains. he doesn't keep things vague on purpose, or makes it seem like he's hiding something from her. he explains, and he takes the initiative to, if only to soothe her worries.
to soothe her worries.
that's an important point.
(and also on a side note:)
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HDJJAJDJSJ I HAD TO AND THIS IS A DIRECT PARALLEL TO "No matter how many times it takes, no matter where you are... I will find you." BY THE WAY
anyway......!!!!!!!!! again, it doesn't stop there.
because this scene and this conversation also directly talk about home.
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and this conversation means a lot more to xavier than, i think, generally one would realize. mostly because—and i remember kay making a really good point about it here—xavier has gone through a lot to get to where we see him now, and so much of change that he's had to get used to... time traveling so far only to get stuck? the different lifetimes he and the backtrackers would have had to witness this whole entire time?
like i mentioned, our brain's natural instinct is to strive for stability—you can even see it in what we know from our high school biology lessons a la homeostasis. yet, what xavier went through, what the backtrackers went through, is one hell of a shock of a change. it's the kind of change that needs processing, but isn't easy to process, and especially not quickly. and xavier had little to no one to lean on for support, to lean on to guide him through it. the result of which being that, as established even in his earlier cards... change isn't something he likes.
and as also established in world underneath, we know he just simply wants a neat little mundane life with mc.
keyword: with mc.
he doesn't really know what home is, because he has a distorted perception of it—the xavier now, in this moment, still recalls his home planet, the life he has ties to, back in philos. but as he is now, his home is in linkon. and then it comes to the conclusion that the answer is, really truly, neither.
his home is with her.
he says it, this time, explicitly.
it's his declaration that it's okay if things change, as long as he has her—as long as she remains the constant. then change is something he can deal with.
yet, even as he reveals all this to her, the conversation starts with him asking her. the conversation starts about her. and it's she who's able to give the opening back to him, by touching on things like change and belongingness.
"Even in a place this strange, you'll feel like you don't belong. No matter how long you stay ... Am I wrong? l'm sure many people feel safer in a place they're familiar with."
mc isn't a stranger to change, either—she's had a lot of it in her life, specifically the life she lives now as a hunter. the chronorift catastrophe, her family... it's not as if she doesn't know how jarring change can be, and she expresses that here—having to "start again" in a place she's unfamiliar with... it's not easy, and it's easy to feel out of place.
humans are social creatures. we were made to be social, we were made to interact with others. but from that need and that inherent desire (because no matter how small, it's always going to be there) stems the need to belong. a human emotional need to affiliate with and be accepted by members of a group.
this is something that is so prominent in mc that it is a place of solace for her to feel like she belongs somewhere. but this sense of belongingness is something that xavier has NOT experienced for a long, long time. it's only something he's been learning to experience again with her, and the people that surround them in this life that want nothing but the best for them both.
it goes back:
his home is wherever she is.
and i think that it's beautiful that, after hearing xavier's side, mc then chooses to agree with it:
"Maybe... the sense of belonging I have is like yours."
if his home is wherever she is, then her home is with him.
ALSO— while we're talking about this scene... the little banter they have with the flower cake?????? AND THE FACT THAT HE KISSES HER?!!?!?!?! JUST LIKE THAT!!!???!?!?!?!?!! (if you can't tell, i yelled about it)
AND THIS SCENE;?!
—"His eyes are a little red, maybe because of how exhausted he's been lately. Even his blinking has slowed down ... 'I'm a little tired. Can I lie down for a bit?'"
—"Before I can answer, Xavier rests his head on my lap."
DIRECTLY plays out the mutual reliance they have on one another for comfort and rest, because it parallels that line in lightseeking ovsession that we're all familiar with:
"You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me."
i think that as much as they have been growing in to their own persons, they're both so closely intertwined, and so much of their love for each other really just pours out all the time.
iii. xavier's forwardness
granted, one thing that's interesting in this is that they do start out pretty tame. there's a little bit of a vague area concerning their relationship at the start of the card, especially since mc seems back into her old habits of starting something and not following through—or otherwise, unintentionally starting something, and then shying away afterwards. she does get noticeably flustered, but she pushes the fluster away... almost as if old habits die hard.
...but xavier, on the other hand, is more consistently bold with whatever he's doing.
there's no hesitation on his part at all, even.
in fact, xavier is the one who initiates most of these things, and doesn't shy away from it. his cheekiness really shines through—he's the one who kisses her suddenly (and for all the other kisses he initiates in the card); he's the one who fixes her clothes, her hair; he's the one playing around while teaching her calligraphy; he's the one who's so eager and unbothered about showing off their relationship:
—"Did we need to hide? Or can the Young Master not chat with a Flower Goddess?"
—"It was going to be awkward... And I heard one of the hosts of this ceremony is the mansion's owner. Since you're an organizer and the Young Master, it wouldn't look good if I was biased, right?"
—He touches the small of my back, which makes me stand up straight. "But you always have special place in my heart."
and:
"Well, I guess everyone knows now. Does this mean I can officially play favorites?"
like he's actually being SUCH a menace i had to pause and take a deep breath
but he's very consistently bold, and it, again, goes back to the confidence that he's gained in himself. he seems a little less of the uncertain, almost shy ish xavier who didn't quite know how to make proper advances... this time, he knows mc is comfortable with his advances, and he gets to play around with that. they're comfortable around each other, to this point that he can be a little more free with his words and his actions.
and eventually, we see mc beginning to reciprocate that again—especially during the festival itself, and in the kindled moments.
which brings me to...
iv. the festival day
i'd specifically talk about, here, the moment before the dance and during the dance.
because it's alao the exact moment that we see mc begin to actually reciprocate and throw back her own advancements—it's the exact moment we have a confirmation that she loves him, that she adores him, that he means so so so so much to her.
and on the day of the festival, we go back to what i highlighted earlier:
he soothes her worries.
the first instance we see this is their little "reunion" that we talked about—it's his very presence, and his added explanation, that calms her down in that moment.
and now is not so different:
—"The most important part of the ceremony, the Flower Goddess Dance, is about to begin. I glance again at the crowd. 'Where will you be during the dance?'"
—"Xavier gently takes my hand that's holding the petal. 'That flower from the roadside will wilt if you keep touching it.'"
—"'I'm just a little nervous.'"
—"'Scared of dancing, hunter? Actually, I got you a gift ... It was meant to be a surprise. But since you're feeling nervous, I figured I should tell you."
—"'That works. Now, my focus has shifted to the excitement about your gift.'"
(which, another side note, but "Scared of dancing, hunter?" had me GASPING because???? the way he teases her in this?! it's so unabashedly him without holding anything back, no coyness about it but he's being a cheeky little shit 😭 i adore him...)
a few things to note here is that out of context, it does feel like a little bit of an awkward way to be comforting someone—yet, it works extremely well. what xavier does here is not provide reassuring sugarcoated words like "it's going to be okay", he distracts her from the problem instead by giving her something to look forward to. which, in this case, is the gift.
interestingly, in a way the 'distracting' is also reminiscent of something he does when he tries to hide something from her—cutting the conversation short when she asks about lumiere, in the lumiere myth asking her to go check on the 'wanderer' so as not to let her see what he had to inject from the ship...
in his lightseeker myth, they talk briefly about his fight with the king, and the possibility of him no longer taking the throne. this conversation proves vague and a little bit one-sided, and in the end he pushes forward the idea of eloping to uluru almost as if to avoid further discussion about the fight itself.
but this time, that's not particularly where he stops: he addresses her question as well, just to find a fallback, an extra little bit of reassurance.
—"'See that tree over there? I'll be standing under it.'"
—"I follow Xavier's gaze. Nearby is a tree covered in red silk ribbons and wooden plaques by the bridge. 'So if I mess up the dance, you'll see everything, huh?'"
—"'I promise I'll forget about them after a good sleep.' His gaze remains on my face, appearing indifferent. Yet I sense a passion about to overflow. 'The only thing l'll remember today is your beauty.'"
FIRST OF ALL. "The only thing I'll remember today is your beauty." A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING LINE, BY THE WAY. IT GAVE ME LITERAL BUTTERFLIES I HAD TO PAUSE FOR A MOMENT. (1) more proof that in the end she's really all he cares about, (2) he's being unabashedly bold with his words again—no filter moment, but zero hesitation, (3) "i sense a passion about to overflow"? he's not being coy about this either, he's saying what he truly feels. he's opening up and expressing himself more, expressing his love for her more, and being genuine about it!
but also, in terms of additional comfort, it's a widely known tactic in states of panic to ground yourself by using your senses to register something familiar: you see something familiar to you, hear something familiar to you, touch something familiar to you, smell something familiar to you. such as, the ground beneath your feet. the air around you, the vague sound of chattering around you, maybe even the touch of your bag, or the fabric of your clothing, the window you know has always been there, etc. panic brings about a sense of derealization, and grounding yourself is usually the first step to calming down.
what xavier is doing now is offering the knowledge to her that he will be there. that she knows exactly where to look for him if she needs to during the dance. she has the opportunity to ground herself with his presence whenever she needs to.
(and again, it's a direct reflection of that line: "You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me.")
and it's exactly what she does.
though she ends up enjoying the dance and the crowd does block her direct view of the tree during the dance itself, she takes comfort in the fact that she knows he's there.
she trusts him; she doesn't need to see him to know that he'd there.
and then she thinks something beautiful:
"Engrossed in the dance's rhythm, my mind is strangely at peace. After all, I know there's someone in the crowd whose eyes are only on me."
once again, it goes back—his presence offers her comfort.
the first thing she does once she's received all the flowers is run to him, and he waits for her gladly. like he's always waited for her, like he always will wait for her.
"A lot of people wanted to give you flowers. I couldn't get past them, so I decided to wait for you here. Seems they're quite fond of you, just like me."
a note: the peach blossom
i figured this deserved a section on its own actually, particularly because the whole theme is this whole "flower goddess" thing... and in the beginning, we see mentions of the "goddess of daffodils" and the "goddess of peonies".
yet, we never really truly find out what mc's potentially assigned flower was—
the only mention of a flower that we do see, directly related to her, is when the little kid compliments her hair and places a peach blossom into her basket.
and while i wouldn't know if this means it's her flower or not, but the specific mention of the peach blossom is adorable, because in chinese floriography, the peach blossom represents love.
it's used in a lot of chinese literature and often associated with the arrival of spring—which, "according to the rites of zhou, the middle of spring is a period when men and women fall in love freely." therefore, a lot of chinese literature and poems also allude peach blossoms to romance, being that spring does as well. but, it's also associated with beauty: "after the wei and jin dynasties, beauties were portrayed in a more detailed way with words like taohua mian (peach-blossom-like face) or tao sai (peach-blossom-like cheek)." and there are other things it represents too, like prosperity, growth, and longevity.
when xavier gives mc the hairpin at the end, mc describes it as "pretty and adorned with pink flowers as if they are on a branch", and while not explicitly stated, i do believe that they are also peach blossoms.
whether or not that's the case, and whether or not the peach blossom was mc's flower (or maybe that it's just generally part of the festival), i think it's a really cute detail! i think it perfectly represents their growing relationship, and essentially the beauty with which xavier always sees her~
BUT, MOVING ON.....
v. the wish
the final stretch boils down to this.
"A gentle breeze stirs the wooden plaques hanging from the branches. A faint, melodic sound dances in the air. 'They say a Flower Goddess can bless people's wishes. And if the person making the wish is someone she favors, it's more likely to come true.'"
it's where the kindled moment falls, as xavier proposes for them to make a wish together.
and, mind you, this whole entire scene is ADORABLE AND LIVES RENT FREE IN MY HEAD ... the playfulness between their words, the "if i tell you my wish, it won't come true", the way xavier CARRIES HER??? AND THE WAY HE CATCHES HER WHEN SHE FALLS AND PINS HER AGAINST THE TREE AND AND AND AND.
everytime i think of it i end up keysmashing in my head IT'S JUST SO CUTE i could burn it into my head 😭😭😭😭
but, AHEM, he also says...
"Throughout history, humanity has always made the same wishes. Perhaps it's because those feelings we have... are timeless."
i think it's a really pretty line, but more than how pretty it is, i think it represents xavier perfectly.
xavier has lived long enough, and he's likely also made similar wishes along the way. for mc to be safe, for mc to be happy... things along those lines. and for him to describe that as "timeless" also represents his love for her—because it is timeless. he loves her more than anything else in the world. it transcends space, and time, and anything else; to him, she is love. she is timeless.
it's worth noting that everytime xavier and mc get scenes where they wish together, xavier never really says what his wishes are.
in "when shooting stars fall", mc wishes for many things. for xavier's freedom and happiness, for her to be healthy, for time to stop in their moment together... for xavier's freedom, xavier's happiness, and, in her final moments—"i wish to meet you in my next life." but he's never said explicitly what he wished for at all.
in "warm wishes", mc also mentions a lot of wishes:
"I wished I could pass all my tests with flying colors and go to a good university. I wished for Grandma to be healthy. I wished for my neighbor's cat to come home..."
and her actual wish that night was:
"l wish.... everyone can have snowflakes fall on their shoulders when they're lonely, and see the stars when they're lost."
yet that night, xavier didn't make a wish. he explicitly stated:
"l didn't make a wish. I want to save my wish for when I need it the most. Plus, everything I want right now has come true."
...but this time is different.
he did make a wish.
and, this time around, he specified what it is.
"I wish I can be your sanctuary until the end of time, in your eyes."
this is a wish that's important to him. he chooses to make this wish, and he chooses to tell her about it.
there's a lot to dissect in just one statement alone, because it's so imbued into the xavier that's loved her for thousands of years.... the xavier that has grown and developed into who he is in this moment.
a sanctuary is a place of refuge and protection; a place of safety. a place of comfort. a place of rest.
and multiple times throughout this card, it highlights how xavier has been able to offer mc a certain sense of comfort. even right when the results are announced, one look at him calms her down—this part really got me.
"I glance nervously at Xavier. He makes eye contact with me, and his gaze conveys a steadfast reassurance."
it's a recurring theme in the card—comfort. peace. the peace that you can find in someone. the safety that you can find in someone. in this case, mc with xavier, and vice versa.
...and i've always associated xavier with comfort, but peace and safety have been attributes i've been hesitant to associate with him, because it's different. for you to feel safe with someone, for you to feel at peace with someone, they need to communicate, as well, a certain sense of steadfast reassurance. xavier has always been soft and comfortable, but he hasn't always exuded that steadfast type of aura.
i think that this is something that he himself realizes.
i've mentioned it before, but his wish is also a direct parallel to That Line from lightseeking obsession.
"You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me."
yet there's also a striking difference.
what is different?
the person that he's developed into.
prince xavier, lightseeker xavier—as i mentioned earlier, there's a certain kind of confidence in himself that isn't present, and it shows. i would argue that he was at his most vulnerable that time, likely more vulnerable than when they first landed on earth, because he didn't know how to treat his relationships at all. he was too bound by the confines of what everyone, and i mean everyone, including mc at the time, wanted him to be. there was never clear communication with anyone, and it mostly seems as if he's been going through the motions—as opposed to more freedom that he's been granted on earth.
and it shows, because, that line in lightseeking obsession—does not exude confidence.
it's a comforting statement, sure...
but it's not even something that mc herself believes.
"you always lie."
it's as if xavier, as much as he's trying to comfort mc, is trying to reassure himself, too—he tries too hard to make himself appear reassuring to her that it falls short, all this on top of the times that she feels she's been let down by him.
it's ironic, almost. he says such a bold declaration despite knowing that there's a chance he wouldn't be able to keep it.
but this is different.
this time, xavier has grown to he sure of who he is and who he wants.
he said it in 21 days—"every version of me belongs to you, and only you."
yet despite the confidence that he now has in himself, notice how different this is to lightseeker's line—
he's wishing.
and he specifies that he wants it to be true in her eyes.
it's as if he's saying, i'm not sure if this is what you think about me, but i do know that i want it to be what you think about me.
he's not reassuring her; he's not making a bold declaration. he's not saying, you will think of me as a sanctuary. neither is he saying, i will be your sanctuary.
he's saying, i want to be your sanctuary.
the final decision falls to her.
the confidence lies in stating what he wants, and there's no fear in it—there's no hesitation, nothing that implies that he's scared to say it. he's confident in what he says, and either confident that she'll accept it, or confident that no matter what her choice is in the matter it's okay.
that's why this wish is so strong.
and it's mc who then says, at the end;
"I wanted to tell you that your wishes will always come true."
because she reciprocates.
and this whole moment, everything that happens from hereon—the results, the hairpin...
—"'If you meet a Flower Goddess you like, give her fresh flowers. It's a local custom here. But there are many people who admire you, and all of them have given you flowers. My flower wouldn't be special enough. So, I made a flower hairpin. This is the first time I made one, though. Don't judge it too harshly.'"
—"Xavier's hand is warm. Like petals being carried on the wind, his smile descends and touches my heart. 'What makes you say that? It's amazing. Besides, even if you just gave me flowers, they'd be the most special ones l've ever received.'"
it's worth noting that the scene where xavier gives the hairpin is also very much the same way he makes the wish. he does admit that he doesn't know if she'd appreciate flowers—but he takes it a step forward. he knows he wants to be extra special, he knows he wants her to have something she'll remember, so he does something different. he makes, and gives her, a flower hairpin. of his own accord.
it doesn't stop at his insecurities, which he still has—he takes those insecurities and spins them into something he can be sure of himself.
and there it is again.
the steadfast reassurance.
and it's what makes the moment so much more memorable to mc, so much more meaningful.
and it's why, then, he can say things like this:
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"No matter what happens, I'm always blessed to have someone by my side, who makes my gaze never feel alone."
"Forever is but a collection of moments strung together. With every minute comes another, second after second. When I open my eyes again, I want you to still be by my side."
it's in a way wherein xavier is able to take some lead in their relationship, because he's more sure of himself this time. and it progresses their relationship in a way that it wouldn't have if he never learned—he's learning. he's growing. and he's really truly turning out to be someone that can love with his whole heart, without holding back.
i think this card showcases that the most, and maybe that's why i love it so much <3
ALSO, P.S., ONE MORE PARALLEL—
xavier says that the flowers are blooming beautifully this season—"it smells like spring". in his lightseeker myth, he says: "With spring's arrival, hope is soon to follow."
and its just a neat lil thing, i think <3 spring is always so closely associated with xavier, and the card really does end on such a light and hopeful note.
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brattyfork · 1 year ago
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can’t
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summary: you’re having a hard time getting off, matt offers a solution
warnings: THIS IS SMUT, but there’s nothing crazy, this is pretty long tho
when i broke up with my boyfriend, i knew it’d be hard, knew it would take a while to get over him. what i didn’t expect was how much i missed him sexually. the whole time we were together i didn’t masturbate, i didn’t need to, if i was horny i just went to his house and he helped me. this leads me to where i am now, desperately trying to get off after almost two years of not touching myself. i tried everything, watched porn, read books, even bought like four different toys and nothing could get me over the edge.
i had just finished watching a pretty steamy movie with my roommates, three triplet brothers. i suggested the movie, not realizing how much sex was in it, the boys didn’t seem to mind too much. chris was on his phone, his head snapping up every time he heard a chick moan. nick had his headphones in watching tiktoks but matt was actually very invested in the movie. at the beginning, he was playing clash of clans on his phone but quickly got distracted by the movie and just kept watching. after the movie ended, matt was the only one paying attention. “im gonna go take a nap” i said, trying to sound as tired as possible. he just looked up at me, smiling and nodding as i walked away.
i figured now would be as good a time as any to try again so i got set up. got myself a water, grabbed my lube and various toys from my closet and pulled up pornhub on my laptop. i know porn rots your brain or whatever but at this point i didn’t care anymore. i grabbed my airpods off my bedside table and put one in my ear, so the boys couldn’t hear the porn but i could still hear them. setting up, i played one of the first videos i saw on pornhub, having no idea what to even search for, hit play and pulled my blanket over my legs, seeing as i had no pants on i was kinda cold.
while looking for toys, i stumbled across something called a wand, it had pretty good reviews so i caved and spent the hundred bucks on it. i plugged it into the power strip next to my bed and turned it on, it was loud but i figured the boys were doing their own things so whatever. i squirted the tiniest bit of lube on it, i was already pretty wet from the movie and i hated the greasy feeling of the lube. i flipped the switch and got to work, or at least i tried to. i was doing pretty good, the wand felt awesome and i felt myself getting close but it would just disappear out of nowhere. after inadvertently edging myself three times, i was basically crying. being so frustrated i threw the wand across the room, pulling it out of its socket. i pulled my knees to my chest, sobbing into them. seconds later, my door flung open, matt appearing behind it.
“y/n! is everything oka-“ he paused, his eyes widening at the sight in front of him, closing the door behind him.
“what’s happening? what is all this?” he gestured to my bed, moving closer. i didn’t speak or move, i just kept sobbing, hoping this was all some bad dream i would wake up from any second. i felt my bed shift from matt sitting down next to me. he placed a hand on my back,
“y/n?”. i just leaned into him, crying some more while he wrapped both his arms around me, still hugging my legs with a blanket still covering my lower half.
“hey, hey, you’re okay, what happened?” i figured there was no point in lying to him, he had already seen everything.
“i can’t come, i haven’t in gotten off in weeks” i said, my sobbing becoming more intense from the embarrassment of having said this out loud.
“don’t cry sweet girl, you’re okay, take a deep breath with me” he lifted my chin to look at him, taking a deep breath in through his mouth and slowly letting it out through his nose, i copied him, repeating it a few times before i could form coherent sentences.
“there you go, you’re okay. do you wanna tell me what’s happening?” he asked sweetly, making sure that i knew i didn’t have to tell him anything if i didn’t want to.
“i haven’t gotten off since i broke up w y/e/n, i can’t seem to do it myself, and as you can see,” i gestured to all the items on my bed “i’ve tried everything.” he stayed quiet for a second, obviously having no idea what to say.
“im so sorry y/n” he said finally , pulling me into a hug.
“it’s okay, thanks for listening to me cry” i chuckled out, trying to diffuse the tension.
“i uh have a suggestion, if you’d like to hear it…” i nodded against his chest, willing to try almost anything at this point.
“i could um try and help you” i pulled away from him, searching his face for any sign that he was fucking with me. his face was dead serious, concerned, with a slight ting of red on his cheeks.
“really? uh how?” i asked, knowing what he meant but wanting to make sure we were on the same page.
“well, i could finger you or eat you out? whatever you want really, whatever you think will help”
“are you sure? that’s a big ask”
“you didn’t ask, i offered. but only if you want to, if you don’t i’ll go and we can pretend this didn’t happen”
“no!” i said, louder and whinier than i meant to, “i mean um if you don’t mind”
“i don’t mind at all” he said as his eyes glanced down at my lips, letting his eyes move down my body to where the blanket was. he got up, moving around to the other side of my bed, picking up my laptop, closing it and setting it on my bedside table.
“ matt?”
“yes angel?”
“can you uh can we like maybe um-“
“words baby”
“can you kiss me?” a small smirk grew on his face.
he walked back around to the side of the bed i was on, standing in front of me he held my face in his hands, leaning over to place a small kiss on my lips, pulling away briefly before kissing me again this time pushing me back to lay on the bed. he hovered over me before settling down in between my legs, whimpering as i felt his bulge rub my clit between the blanket. he continued to kiss me gently before pulling away with my bottom lip in between his teeth. he smiled at me before grabbing my face, turning my head to give him better access to my neck. he started with light kisses, making me shiver before he started to suck a little bit, unfortunately not enough to leave marks. he then bit where he had been sucking before, licking the same spot causing me to whine. he came up, pressing another kiss to my lips before looking down at the blanket.
“can i take this off?” i nodded quickly. he pulled the blanket off exposing my bare pussy. he lifted my sweater slightly, placing kisses down the valley in between my breasts, moving down to my stomach. he let his knees fall to the ground, now sitting at the end of the bed. he wrapped his arms around my thighs, pulling me down toward him. i gasped at the sudden movement, looking down to see his piercing blue eyes staring straight back at me. he began kissing the insides of my thighs, not for too long, knowing how much i needed this. he looked at my pussy, glistening from all the attention, seemingly entranced.
“matt?” bringing him out of his trance
“sorry, you’re just so pretty” i blushed at the compliment. he leaned down, pressing a light kiss to my clit before licking a stripe up my folds making me let out a low moan. i could feel him smile against me as he continued to eat me out, my moans growing louder as he got more into it. lost in my pleasure, i felt something proding at my entrance before pushing in.
“oh fuck matt” i managed to whine out.
he began fucking into me with his finger while still sucking on my clit. it felt unreal but i still needed more.
“matt more please” i begged. lucky for me, he understood what i meant, adding another finger, making me let out a loud groan. i reached my hand down, searching for anything to grab onto. matt noticed, interlacing his fingers with mine. with another thrust of his fingers, he brushed my g spot, making me squeeze his hand.
“oh my god matt do that again please” he did as i asked repeating the motion, my moans growing louder.
“matt please don’t stop im so close please” i begged, grinding my pussy against his face trying to gain more friction. he held my thighs down, trying to keep me still so he could get me over the edge.
“fuck i’m gonna cum please don’t stop please please” i begged, babbling whatever words would come out of my mouth, not caring how i sounded. with a few more pumps of his fingers i came completely undone, my thighs shaking from the pleasure i hadn’t experienced in weeks. he continued eating me gently through my orgasm before coming back up to my face, kissing me. i could taste myself on his lips and it was intoxicating.
“better?”
“a little”
“a little??” surprised after my relatively intense orgasm
“matt” he looked at my inquisitively, searching my face for what i would say next.
“can you fuck me , please?”
“want my cock inside you princess ?” he said lifting his shirt over his head.
i nodded but i should’ve known better. he tilted his head to the side, giving me a look.
“you need to use your words baby, i can’t read minds” he reminded me
“ need you inside me please”
“so polite, sweetheart” he cooed, undoing his belt, completely mesmerizing me. he pulled his pants down, leaving him in just his boxers as he went to crawl on top of me.
“no, take those off too” i demanded, desperate to see all of him.
“so needy” he complied, letting his boxers hit the floor. i wasn’t surprised, i knew matt wasn’t small. i smiled excitedly, ready to just have him inside me. he reached both his hands out to me motioning for me to grab them. he pulled me up before grabbing the hem of my sweatshirt and pulling it over my head. he leaned down, wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing me. i wrapped my legs around his hips as i deepened the kiss, trying to get as close to him as possible. with his arms around my waist and my legs around his hips, he lifted me up before sitting where i had been before. he placed me on his lap gently, both of us groaning, him feeling my wetness spread down his cock, me feeling his cock against my clit.
“can you ride me angel?” he said pulling away from my lips slightly, planting them firmly back after he asked. i just nodded into the kiss, needing him so desperately. he pulled away from the kiss, taking one of his arms off my waist, bringing his hand up to my mouth. he gently pressed his index and middle finger into my mouth.
“get my hand wet baby” i sucked on his fingers for a bit before he decided they were wet enough but when he pulled his fingers out i grabbed his wrist, keeping his hand near my face. i licked above where my hand grasped his wrist, all the way up to his fingertips. his pupils dilated in an instant, i could barely see any blue, his eyes fully black with lust. he brought his hand down and stroked himself a few times before lifting me slightly off his lap, lining himself up. he looked at me, making sure he saw no discomfort in my face. i gave him a small smile before sinking onto his cock. he held my hips as my arms flung around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder. he guided me down, making sure not to rush me. i finally bottomed out and let out a big breathe. i sat there momentarily, enjoying how full i felt. i lifted my head from him, kissing him before pushing up on my knees, coming off his cock slightly before going back down. he let out a groan, and with his hands still on my ass helped me ride him, lifting me off him and helping me sink back down. after a little bit of this i could feel my legs getting sore, i didn’t say anything, feeling bad that i was too tired to ride him. despite me not telling him, matt noticed. he quickly flipped us over, him now on top of me, giving my legs a much needed break.
“did you get tired baby?”
i nodded, hoping that would be enough of a response for him.
“that’s okay, wanted me to take control?”
i whined at his words, grabbing his face pulling his lips to mine. he began to pound into me at an ungodly pace and i dragged my nails along his back, making him groan into the kiss. i disconnected our lips briefly.
“you feel so good, so deep inside me” i whispered against his lips. apparently he liked that as he reconnected our lips and started fucking me so hard i saw stars. i began to essentially scream into the kiss. he pulled away, “you sound so good for me sweetheart”
“matt i’m so close c-can i hnng” i struggled to finish my sentence.
“go ahead baby, wanna feel you cum on me”
with his permission, i let go, my legs began shaking as i let out the loudest moan that’s ever passed my lips
“fuck baby you look so good, can i cum inside you?”
“fuck, pLEASE” i croaked out, becoming overstimulated.
his thrusts became sloppier and he slowed down as he released inside me, completely filling me up. he pumped into me a few more times before pulling out.
“are you okay sweet girl?” he asked, concerned as my eyes were half lidded and fluttering open and shut.
“mhm” i responded, only able to mumble and whine.
“cmon let’s get you cleaned up” he lifted me bridal style, carrying me to my bathroom, setting me down on the toilet.
“go pee baby” he ordered as he made his way back into my room to clean up a little. after i peed i sat on the toilet, elbows propped up on my knees with my head in my hands. i heard matt’s footsteps as he made his way back into the bathroom, holding a t-shirt, underwear and your favorite pajama pants.
“can you walk?” he asked, sounding worried despite his smirk on his face, proud of how good he made me feel.
“maybe?” he reached out his hand for me to grab, helping me off the toilet. at first, my legs felt like i had no bones in them but i was able to stand after a few seconds. i slipped the shirt over my head before holding onto him to put on my underwear and pants. he walked me into my room, helping me into bed before handing me an unopened water bottle.
“drink this” he ordered, as he walked toward the door.
“are you leaving ?” the thought of him leaving after all that made me want to sob.
“course not baby, just turning off the lights” he said flicking off the light before returning to the bed, crawling under the blankets. he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close before giving me a sweet kiss on the back of my neck.
“thank you matt” i said, intertwining my fingers in his.
“anything for you my love” pulling me closer if even possible.
A/N: hi, thanks for reading my first full fic :) i want feedback! constructive criticism is appreciated (just don’t be mean) also idk if the peeing thing is weird, i think it’s kinda cute so 🤷‍♀️
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xxventiswindblumexx · 2 years ago
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@hitomisuzuya and I spend all night coming up with the most vile feral head canons for Xiao, Scaramouche, and Venti! I'll like to add to it and post it for everyone! I'll be making a fic later for it too 🤭
⚠Warnings⚠:Feral activity, predator and prey dynamic, heat/ruts, biting, marking, animalistic characteristics, breeding kink, pregnancy mentions, dub-con/non-con, absolutely filthy
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𓁹Adeptus Xiao𓁹
The poor Adeptus already had trouble dealing with his feelings, now imagine that but triple the damage.
Zhongli had fed Xiao a type of herb that made him revert into a more animalistic state of mind, he wanted to test a few things out
Of course in this state of mind Xiao is too dangerous not to have in a collar and chain, Zhonglis gloves hand kept a firm grip on the end of it to prevent Xiaos escape, the Adeptus often pulled, growled and scratched at it
Curious on if Xiao could have offspring since he never seen the male try, he would innocently send word for Y/N to come visit him, that he had so em thing important to talk of.
While talking over tea he had Xiao in the other room hidden, he had slipped Aphrodisiacs into your tea, strong ones so I wouldn't take long before your slumped in your seat, face heating up and slightly panting.
"Are you alright Y/N? You look a little.. Sick? " he asked innocently as he sipped his own tea to hide his smile of amusement, once you could no longer give coherent answers he chuckled and place his tea cup down
"Perfect, absolutely perfect. I'm sure your supple body will do just fine with Xiao" pulling you into his lap as his gloved hands trace your now over heating body, panting and whining at his touches
"Yes, you'll do nicely, and if I'm not mistaken you're quite fertile too, I've been hoping to find such a sweet mate for him" his eyes glowing slightly as his fangs graze your neck "I could almost mark you myself but, that would ruin my whole experiment. Come, you must see Xiao"
Bringing you to Xiao and placing you just outside his reach, he thought of tying you down but in this state you had no energy to fight the hormonal Adeptus so be a good girl and offer yourself to him, makes it easier and less painful to have a willing mate" he says as you could only whine, the whine plus your scent was driving the Adeptus mad, growling, biting and clawing at his collar even more, almost breaking lose.
Once Zhongli was situated at his chair with the chain in hand he undid the hook from his collar, unleashing the Adeptus onto poor Y/N
The Adeptus pinned the other down under him onto her stomach, his claws ripping her clothing, exposing her hot flesh causing you to sigh in slight relief
His mouth attacking your neck leaving love bites and mate marking as his claws dragged themselves down her body lightly leaving light marks.
Any time you wiggled rather it was to try getting away or just out on pleasure he would only growl lowly and force you back in place
His throbbing cock slammed into your dripping hole, he let out a loud groan as your moans was drowned out by his animalistic sounds.
Let's just say he wasn't going to let go of you until you become pregnant with his offspring
And once you do he wasn't going to let anyone near you, if Zhongli even attempted to check on you he would his a deep bite on his hand, Zhongli should've expected it, brushing off what normally would be a hand breaking wound for a mortal.
During your pregnancy he would pace around the shared room, the over territorial Adeptus made sure no one came onto his territory or near his mate.
Any whines you made from being sore or over all pregnancy pains he would be immediately by your side, licking his marks and kissing over them in an apologetic manner.
He often 'hunted' food, unfortunately Zhongli still couldn't let Xiao out of this home, he would be too dangerous to the public so he would often leave out food so I gave Xiao the feeling of hunting at least.
He would share his food always, no matter how much you already ate he would always split his remaining food with you
He would often run his fingers through your hair to calm and groom you.
Xiao is over all a very attentive mate, rough at first but will sacrifice for you.
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⚡︎Scaramouche⚡︎
Scaramouche was at the mercy of Dottore, after being injected with a strong syrum and let him lose in his testing room, slowly watching the short raging puppet turn into a silent, shaky one.
He needed to test more so he called for Scaras assistant who was confused on where her Harbinger had went to.
"Here you look tired, I'm sure we will find him soon, just drink up and I'll get to it" he said so calmly, you should've known better then to drink anything from the Doctor.
After drinking what you thought was some water your face started to get hotter, your body reacting to the well hidden aphrodisiac
Once your eyes glazed over in lust he manages to guide you into the room before observing in the other room, looking through a two way mirror.
Scaramouche almost ran for you but clenched his fists annoyed, he's straining to hold himself back but once you're up against him, begging for his attention he wouldn't be able to hold himself
Forcing you down as he still manages to degrade you "You're such a slut, it's no wonder you're picked for this. Have you always thought of me with that filthy fucking mind of yours? "
He wouldn't take long before getting his cock shoved into your hole earning an excited squeal
(Head canon for a friend! 🤭) He would pull at your blonde hair harshly as his thrusts showed no mercy. "At least your hair is useful for more then just a damn warning on your IQ" he hissed as his hips rocks harsher
His hands soon gripping your hips as his hips falter, his cock twitching, cursing as he was getting closer.
Your release couldn't have come at a better time because Archons know if he would've allowed you to cum after him, a thick ring of white on the base of his cock only served to drive him over the edge, filling you full.
His electric purple eyes would shoot daggers at the Doctor if he dared to try prying you two apart, his more primal instincts would assume he would take his mate away.
Your neck and body littered with hickeys but most importantly his electro mark.
Once you started to show on pregnancy his hands never left your belly, cuddling from behind as they felt your belly swell.
Anytime the doctor came to check on you two or provide food he was always on the defensive, guarding you like an angry cat, hissing and even biting at him if he got too close.
He was a more lazy mate compared to Xiao, instead of making rounds to protect his territory he often just laid with you.
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𖤍Venti𖤍
Albedo asked the bard if he could sample a special potion for him, and without asking or thinking of course Venti downs it because nothing can hurt him, he's an Archon so why even bother being careful
Well he didn't expect this effect
After being observed and noted on for almost an hour, his arousal grew, causing the bard to be whiny and annoying to the Alchemist, however he had research to do and couldn't just dismiss him, so Venti dismissed himself!
When the Alchemist looked away for a moment he would notice the bard had disappeared like the wind, he would look for him but of course he wouldn't be able to find him.
Venti is already on his way to find a special someone, this aphrodisiac brought the more feral side of him, he wanted nothing more then to just breed you right then and there when he noticed your soft smile as you spoke to Captain Keaya.
His jealousy grew, if the green eyed monster was a person it was Venti.
Of course he was stride over and wrap his arms around you, whining some as his eyes shared a glare to the captain that was far from his normal behavior
Luckily for Kaeya since he knew ventis identity he wasn't about to just play with his life here, sayo g his goodbyes before leaving the two of you alone
"What was that? I hope I didn't say anything" oh so innocent, not one bit aware of your overly jealous and arousal Archon lover giving the captain the scare of a life time
Oh how he will ruin you tonight
And like he thought out in his mind the whole time he's dragging you home, he would see your beautiful eyes looking up at him with tears as his cock slams back into you, he's already came twice as well as you but his Archon stamina never faltered.
Whining and groaning "oh my muse you feel so good, so tight~"
He praised his mate as he continues to pound into them through the night, only ever stopping once the sun started to peek over the mountains.
When you gotten pregnant it was definitely a shock for him, he really didn't think your soft mortal body could bare a child of an Archon, but he wasn't complaining.
Constantly rubbing your swollen belly, giving your neck kisses and huming tunes to you.
He would always sing you to sleep when you had trouble, always finding the freshest apples and cutting them for you, and whenever it got too hot his winds would cool you down easily
Unlike the other two he didn't have to worry about someone interfering with his mate
However if Zhongli did try to visit on this rare occasion he would definitely keep a wing over you, only ever using his Archon form to try an intimidate the other Archon who honestly could care less on that.
Venti is a mix of the other two, he's very attentive but also very lazy as well.
That's what I have for this part! I can make other parts upon requested! 😌
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soulofapatrick · 1 year ago
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Heat of the Moment - Eddie Diaz x Male Reader
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Summary: Eddie has been flirting with you since you joined the 188 and finally takes action
Words: 1.5k
Warnings: heavy make out
Notes: I hope this justice to the anon who requested it
Y/N’s POV
I step into the firehouses’ locker room, the faint scent of aged leather and burnt wood lingering in the air. The camaraderie within the 188 has been welcoming, making my transition into the team seamless. Each member has extended a hand of friendship, but there’s one person who has constantly set my heart racing—Eddie Diaz.
The man is charismatic, there’s no denying that. His infectious smile and friendly demeanour have everyone at ease, but it’s more than that for me. Eddie’s playful banter, the subtle compliments that dance of the edge of flirtation, have me blushing like a teenager. And he knows it, damn it. It starts with those smiles—the kind that makes my heart skip a beat. He catches my eye across the room, a glint of mischief evident in the depths of his gaze, and that’s where it all begins. 
Sometimes, as he passes by, his touch is barely perceptible but sends shivers down my spine. A casual hand on my shoulder when he shares a joke, or a gentle brush of his fingers as he hands me something. It’s a touch that lingers just long enough to be noticed but short enough to leave me yearning for more. 
In the confined space of the locker room, Eddie takes it up a notch. I’m lacing up my boots, focused on the task at hand, when I feel his presence behind me. His hands find their way to my hips, a casual yet intimate touch as he manoeuvres around me to grab his gear. My breath catches, and I try to convince myself it’s just friendly camaraderie, but the way his fingers linger leaves me questioning. 
Words, too, become his weapons of choice. He leans in close when he speaks, his warm breath grazing my ear. The simplest of comments carry a weight that makes my cheeks burn. “You know, Y/N, you really make this fire station a much brighter place,” He says with a grin, and I swear I can feel the heat of his words against my skin. As Eddie’s words hang in the air, I can’t help but feel a surge of wrath that has nothing to do with the uniform. I stand up, intending to respond with something clever or at least coherent, but the moment I rise, I’m acutely aware of his proximity. 
Suddenly, he’s there, close enough I can feel the heat radiating from his body. It catches me off guard, and for a moment, I’m frozen in place. Eddie’s chest presses against my back, and the contract sends a jolt through me. My heart races, and I can’t ignore the magnetic pull between us. 
“Is that so?” I manage to reply, my voice sounding much steadier than I feel. His closeness is intoxicating, and I can’t deny the effect it has on me. 
He chuckles, the sound low and tantalising and I sense his breath against the nape of my neck, “Absolutely. You’re really something special.”  
I turn around to face him, and the intensity in his gaze makes my pulse quicken. Before I can full comprehend what’s happening, Eddie takes a step closer, and my back meets the cold metal of the lockers. The sudden change in proximity has my breath catching. 
“Eddie, what are you—" I begin, but my words are cut off as he crowds me, his body inching closer until there's hardly any space between us. The locker room seems to shrink, the air thickening with an unspoken tension. 
His hand finds the wall beside my head, effectively trapping me. Eddie's eyes flicker with a mixture of playfulness and something deeper, more intense. "Y/N," he murmurs, his voice a low timbre that sends shivers down my spine. His proximity is both exhilarating and unnerving. I can feel the warmth of his body, the subtle brush of his breath against my skin. My senses heighten as his hand rests on the wall, caging me in. 
His eyes, intense and magnetic, hold mine captive. There’s a playfulness in them, but it’s underscored by an unmistakable depth that speaks of unexplored desires. As he murmurs my name, the timbre of his voice resonates within me, sending shivers down my spine. It’s a magnetic pull, drawing me closer to the edge of something I never anticipated. 
With Eddie’s hand finds mine, it’s a jolt of electricity. His fingers interlace with mine, creating an intimate connection that transcends the playful banter of earlier. The touch is firm yet gentle, as if he’s reassuring me that this is a path we’re walking together. His other hand, warm and possessive, rests on my hip. It’s a point of contact that sets my nerves ablaze. Every move feels deliberate, sending a rush of anticipation through my veins. I can’t help but marvel at the way his body aligns with mine, the proximity igniting a fire within. 
In that charged moment, as Eddie's scent wraps around me, I can almost taste the anticipation in the air. The mixture of his subtle cologne and the rugged musk of the fire station creates a sensory overload that heightens every nerve in my body. The world outside this locker room ceases to exist, and all that remains is the awareness of him, close, real, and magnetic. 
Shaky breaths betray my internal turmoil, but it’s not fear that courses through me; it’s a potent hunger, an ache that’s been building with every exchanged place and lingering touch. I can’t help but wonder if Eddie feels the same, if the unspoken tension between us is, indeed, shared desire. 
As the seconds stretch, I tilt my head up instinctively, seeking something unspoken, something I can’t quite name. Eddie’s lips barely brush mine in a teasing promise before he ducks his head down, closing the distance. 
The first touch is electric, a spark that ignites a fire deep within. His lips on mine are soft, a gentle exploration that quickly deepens. It’s a kiss that speaks volumes, transcending the uncharted territory we find ourselves in. The world tilts on its axis as the taste of him floods my senses—warm, inviting and undeniably intoxicating. 
Emotionally, it’s a whirlwind. There’s surge of longing, of a connection forged in the unspoken language of desire. My hands, initially uncertain, find their way to his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my fingertips. The kiss is a dance, and my hands navigate the contours of his body, discovering the warmth and strength I’ve only imagined until now. 
The kiss deepens, a seamless blend of passion and connection. It’s a dance of two souls finally acknowledging the unspoken yearning that has lingered between us. Eddie’s hands, too, explore the landscape of my back, leaving trails of fire in their wake. The world outside fades into insignificance as we lose ourselves in the shared intensity of the moment. But, just as the crescendo of emotions reached its peak, a sudden intrusion shatters the fragile bubble we’ve created. The locker room’s glass door swings open, and the hasty footsteps of another member echo in the room. Startled, we break apart, breathless and disorientated. 
Buck stands frozen in the doorway, eyes widening in surprise. For a moment, the air crackles with an awkward tension as he stumbles over his words, “Uh, sorry, didn’t mean to… I just forgot my…uh, never mind.” He fumbles with his words, and the realisation of what he’s stumbled upon dawns on him. 
Buck's awkward retreat leaves a lingering tension in the room, and Eddie and I exchange a silent acknowledgment of the unusual situation we find ourselves in. The locker room, usually a sanctuary of camaraderie, has transformed into a stage for an unintended revelation, and the unspoken tension between Eddie and me is now exposed, hanging palpably in the air. As Buck stumbles out of the doorway, hastily retreating from the unexpected scene, I meet Eddie's gaze. There's a mix of amusement and shared disbelief in his eyes. We're both caught in this strange, suspended moment where the line between friendship and something more has been irrevocably crossed.
Just as we begin to compose ourselves, Eddie glances behind him, his expression shifting. It's then that I notice the rest of the team, peering down from the upstairs balcony. The realisation hits us simultaneously — the glass walls of the locker rooms have turned our private moment into an unintentional public spectacle. 
A chorus of surprised gasps and hushed whispers filters down from above. The team, usually a tight-knit family, now observes with a mix of curiosity and amusement. My cheeks flush with embarrassment, and Eddie, ever the composed one, smirks, perhaps trying to diffuse the tension with humour. 
In that moment, our private revelation becomes a shared experience with the whole squad, and the locker room, once a haven of shared secrets, is now a glass-walled confessional. As Eddie and I exchange a resigned yet amused look, it's clear that the dynamics within the 118 have just taken an unexpected turn, and there's no going back.
                           ┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈
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soulfulazrael · 1 month ago
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Stella being Beatrice of Helluva Boss is pure idiocy at this point in the show.
Hello there. I am posting something. That's a new. Reminded myself "Oh yeah this site exists" and decided to post some shait about HB. Why not?
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Drawn by wholetthemonst1
There was something I came across some time ago in Helluva Boss community and that is the idea that Viv wants to make Stella into a character reminiscent of Beatrice Horseman from Bojack Horseman. And as someone who loves Bojack and respects Bojack and I can probably say now HB is my Becker (wink, wink, nudge nudge WATCH BOJACK IF YOU HAVEN'T) I have to say my piece about it.
But first let's start with Beatrice Horseman herself (careful, there will be spoilers for the 4th and 5th season of Bojack Horseman if you are still going through it). So... Beatrice Horseman. Who was she? What was her deal? Well she was a horse born in 193- okay, okay I am not doing that whole bit. Sorry. Let's get into it. Beatrice Horseman. She is probably one of the most despicable and yet complex characters in the whole of Bojack Horseman. A show known for complex characters and stories. It's a show that many people would say is unfair to compare to Helluva Boss, but given that apparently Viv wants to compare one of her characters to the ones from that then it's free game, wild west baby so let's get on with it already.
Again. Beatrice. Despicable, abusive, terrible, terrible person that is contributor to the kind of man Bojack is in the show. There is no beating around the bush that she was a horrid person that one could say at first glance is not too disimilar to the Stella we know and boy isn't that just the perfect test for who watched that show and who didn't. Because I did and I can say for certain if they were doing that from the start, it's already a complete failure for two reasons.
First off. The photo from The Circus. If there is something Beatrice wasn't, it was being terrible from the start. She was not, everyone who watched the show will tell you with 100% certainty that she never begun as this terrible person. She went through a lot, doesn't excuse the abuse she put her own child through, but we know for certain she did not start like that and this is a big problem with the photo shown in the Circus.
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Because nothing speaks sweet and nice than a complete psycho strangling puppies. Yeah I am not going to sugar coat. This photo single handedly made me about 90% done with Helluva Boss. I could see everything that was going to happen the moment I saw and so far I was not too far off. And this is a major failure on HB's part. Making Stella a psychopath who strangles puppies from early childhood. And I get that it's supposed to be funny, but Bojack itself never sacrificed narrative coherency for some dumb unfunny comedy. Especially did not sacrifice depth of the character that Beatrice was.
And one may say "Well the first times we saw Beatrice she was a despicable one note villain as well" and to that I say... no. First time we see her is where she is clearly dissatisfied with her marriage with Butterstoch who seems to be even more terrible than she is at that point and nothing points towards her being some terrible Satan like figure. We do see pieces of abuse she put Bojack through, but she never enters the realm of being so horrid that it becomes too cartoony. Aside from some obvious things like the argument of hers with Butterstoch (I still have I'M EXITATING live rent free in my head). But those moments never made Beatrice into someone who is just evil for the sake of being so. At least there was always this lingering feeling that she is the way she is not just because this is simply how she is. There were already reasons for it given to us in the very first season.
And you know what. They actually started it okay. In first season we saw Stella being more passively dismissive if not just uncaring about Octavia's crying, but it was not something that got across her being some terrible monster, just someone very tired and someone who probably is not there of their own volition. Makes her still terrible, but you can work up from there, but HB never did. I say what they gave her in Season 1 while cartoony in many ways like her screaming so much and hiring hitman did not kill the potential for her to be complex as much as that photo of hers did in Season 2 which again, I think already sank any potential for her to be complex.
But some other people will say "Well we do not know the context of that photo". What context? You want to add context to a girl strangling and beating puppies? Really? Because let me tell you no matter what you do, it will NEVER work. Adding any sort of context to make this kind of photo feel like it makes sense for any sort of complex character will result in laughable at best results that will make it feel like this show doesn't know what the hell it's doing.
Because you do not make this kind of photo for a character you want to be perceived as complex. It just doesn't work.
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And there is a second issue beyond that photo. Her motivations, big part of which we saw in Western Energy. Because as far as we see she only wants to bring torment to Stolas, she keeps saying that, she keeps being shown to be too dumb to think of any other reason or how that can screw her over and that also destroys any semblance of chance that this character could be complex. Because Beatrice while terrible had a very good reason for why she was like this. Having your lobotomized mother at such young age telling you to not love anyone will definitely screw you in the head and even then what we see in the show despite such morbid origins is nowhere near as stupidly 1 dimensional as Stella was for 2 seasons already and in Season 2 of Bojack we already saw her being more complex too. Something this show only destroyed further with Stella. Kind of going in the opposite direction of starting in more complex manner and gradually destroying those illusions of depth Stella could have had.
And honestly I do not know if I have to add anything beyond those two reasons. No matter how you look at it Stella doesn't feel remotely as a character designed to be complex. And just so you all know before you start typing essays comparable in length to this horse shait. No, complex doesn't mean redeemable, doesn't mean a character is good or worthy of redemption. It means they can feel like actual PEOPLE! Not some caricatures. Because so far Stella is just that, a caricature. A hate sink. And NO, it is NOT challenging at all to make a character like that and her being so easy to hate is not sign of good writing, it is LAZY.
And this makes me really feel like Stella was NOT planned to be this complex Beatrice like character and in fact I feel like what is going on now is a response of Viv (one of many) to the criticism (at least she listens to them this time I guess... progress?). Basically I think she saw people dunk on Stella's character for being pretty much equivalent of a wall with some mean things sprayed on it, she now starts to go in completely different direction without any semblance of idea of how to make this work. Purely reactionary action.
And to me that reflects another issue I see when compared to Bojack. Here is the clip from it that I think describes this issue I have. This one being from Free Churro. My favorite Bojack episode.
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This I think is what ticks me off about the writing of HB as a whole. They think big gestures in writing like giving this one character a le sad backstory will make them sympathetic and complex and oh so well written. That this one act of non douchebaggery makes that POS already well on the path of being better despite them doing the same garbage all over again. That one moment of complexity that you repeat over and over again is enough to make the show complex. That this small piece of text or scene makes a relationship great or make sense. No. Writing doesn't work like that. Stories don't work like that. You need to be consistent, you cannot just throw one scene and immediately expect that people will eat up that this character or this story is more than it is. You need to put in the effort for more than one minute or one episode. You need to try your damn hardest to make your story complex if you want it to be so. It is not something you get participation trophy for. It is something you need to commit to. Or hire a better writer. That helps as well.
Okay. That got a bit derailed. Sorry for that. It was pretty long rant and yet somehow I feel like it wasn't long enough. Stella Goetia. Who is she? What is her deal? She is a victim of terrible writing that made her into a hate sink when she had so much more potential and now that this ship is well on it's way to Davy Jones's locker only NOW this crew of misfits and not very good writers try to salvage what I will say is already unsalvageable. Stella is not Beatrice, she will never be Beatrice. She could have been. She really could have been, but the direction they went with in Season 2 was equivalent of dropping a bomb on a baby and trying to see if it's alive... The best you will find is ashes. But I guess they will be of some reminder of what could have been.
Honestly I don't know why I wrote so much for it. I don't even want to watch this show anymore. I watch shorts, but... they are short. I write my own version of this universe as well, but it's something I do now because like Bojack once said in this clip
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And I feel the same thing. This show had all the right pieces right there, but it can never put them together and it bums me out to see and leaves me only with passion for what it could have been. It really depresses me. Because I want to love this show and I already spent around 5 years watching it and pouring my heart into work about it, but now... Now I feel empty. And it feels bad.
I don't like Helluva Boss and everything is worse now.
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